thoughts prayers

Trying to Ration Its Supply, Palliative Care Team Offers Thoughts or Prayers But Not...

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BROOKLYN, NY - In an attempt to preserve supplies and not dole them out like Halloween candy, a palliative care team at Maimonides Medical Center...
patient

Patient Discharged to Rehab to Acquire UTI

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AUGUSTA, GA - Patient Larry Michelson is thrilled he will be going to subacute rehab today where, if everything goes according to plan, he...
divine intervention NPO after midnight miracle insurance authorization

God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning

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HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make...
printer toner

Printer at Nurses Station Celebrates Its 10th Straight Year without Toner

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NASHVILLE, TN - Congratulations!  Today, the printer labelled prntr04 at the fourth floor nurses station in Saint Thomas Midtown Hospital is celebrating its 10th straight...
slaps monitor v-fib

Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact

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ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Med Student with Crushing Debt Terrified He Will Like Family Medicine

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MAYWOOD, IL - Citing concerns about his crushing debt, local 3rd-year med student Aaron Ferguson reports that he is “terrified” he will enjoy his...

It Took Over 3 Years, But ICU Team Finally Finishes Untangling All Those Lines

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SAN JOSE, CA - It took over 3 years and 7 months to do, but the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Holy Cross...
border drape wall

Trump: Anesthesiology Will Build Border Drape Wall & Pay for It

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Publicly acknowledging that efforts to build a border wall and have Mexico pay for it has failed, President Donald Trump has...
bunk bed

Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea

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BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented...
ventilator

Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube

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KEARNEY, NE - It was a close call for Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Dan G. Ross of when his ventilated patient started to desaturate....