National Spelling Bee Update: All 291 Kids Eliminated After Failing to Spell ‘Dysdiadochokinesia’

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - For the first time in the history of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, all 291 of the country's best young spellers...
orthopedic surgeon

Orthopedic Note Simply Says “Covfefe”

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SYRACUSE, NY - Last night at approximately 2 AM, an orthopedic resident on call at St. Francis Hospital dropped a post-operative check note in...
Kevin Bacon sixth-degree heart block

Breaking News: Kevin Bacon Diagnosed with Sixth-Degree Heart Block

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LOS ANGELES, CA - After developing the sudden onset of shortness of breath, self-proclaimed Center of the Universe Kevin Bacon was rushed to UCLA Medical...
traffic jam Flonase

Doctor Tries to Clear Up Traffic Congestion with Flonase

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ATLANTA, GA - Sincerely hoping that the rush-hour traffic this afternoon is just a manifestation of seasonal allergies, internist Roger Willoughby has just given...
elevator stairs

Nurse Waiting for Elevator Faces Stark Reality He Might Have to Take the Stairs

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TAMPA, FL - Nurse Roy Chipman leaned forward, placing his head on his forearm while his face revealed tremendous disappointment, as the stark reality...
divine intervention NPO after midnight miracle insurance authorization

God Requires Prior Authorization Before Divine Intervention

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HEAVEN ABOVE - Unfortunately for patient Lucas Von hopes for a cure have been put on hold as the ultimate provider of us all,...

ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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SACRAMENTO, CA - Sutter Health System is changing the game.  In a world of overcrowded ERs and the inability to triage efficiently, new innovations...
nursing diagnosis

Report: Ability to Wear Scrubs to Work is Only Thing Keeping Health Care Professionals...

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CHICAGO, IL - According to a recent poll of nearly 20,000 health care professionals jointly conducted by the American Academy of Physician Assistants (AAPA), American...
ophthalmology

Ophthalmologists Report Hindsight More Like 20/80

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Top ophthalmologists announced this week that hindsight, long thought to be 20/20, is actually much closer to 20/80.  “This is...