Modified DEA License Allows Healthcare Practitioners to Not Prescribe Dilaudid
WASHINGTON, DC - In a brilliant collaboration by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and nearly every medical professional organization in the United States, health care practitioners will now have the option to obtain either...
New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”
CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside Raleigh now require nursing staff to provide a “happy ending”...
Ever Wonder How Radiologists Know What Studies to Recommend?
Ever wonder how radiologists know what studies to recommend and perform? GomerBlog has gone undercover into the bowels of hospitals to study radiologists. After months of hiding under desks in dark rooms, this is what...
Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken
SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee machine, which is located on Unit 61, is not working. ...
After 25th Stain, Doctor Finally Decides to Wash White Coat
NEW YORK, NY - Physician Joel Winters had not washed his white coat in over 10 years. However, after acquiring a 25th stain today while caring for a patient with profuse C. diff diarrhea,...
Hospital Publishes 6 Patient Guidelines: ‘Please Try Not to Confuse Us with a Hotel’
Here at Outside Hospital (OSH), we are 100% committed to your satisfaction as a patient. To this end, we have created this pamphlet, which contains some tips and advice to guide you in your...
Universal Admission Template for a Drug Seeker
Chief Complaint:
Abdominal pain or pain due to condition that doesn’t cause pain.
History of Present Illness:
This is a really, really annoying patient with a given age and sex presenting with an acute exacerbation of a...
Nostalgic Pharmacists Yearn for Good ‘Ole Days of Illegible Doctors’ Prescriptions
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Though pharmacists appreciate the progress that has been made with electronic health records (EHR) and e-prescriptions over the past two decades, many admit they kind of miss the good ‘ole...
Level 1 Drama Algorithm for the Emergency Department
We have all been there when a Level 1 Drama call comes through the doors. New evidence has led to the creation of a Level 1 Drama Algorithm which was recently published in the...
Doctors Still Unclear Why Right Said Fred So Sexy It Hurts
LONDON, ENGLAND - Despite a battery of noninvasive and invasive diagnostic tests, doctors at London Medical Center remain puzzled, as they are still unclear why British dance-pop group Right Said Fred are so sexy it...