Al Qaeda Claims Responsibility For Patient Satisfaction Surveys
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA - A detainee with confirmed ties to Al Qaeda made claims yesterday that the group operates an American corporation designed to destroy the U.S. health care delivery system from the inside....
HIPAA Loosens Up, Just Say Whatever, Whenever, Wherever the Hell You Want
WASHINGTON, DC - Doctors, nurses, and other health care practitioners nationwide are breathing a sigh of relief this morning as government officials have loosened provisions in the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of...
After Super Bowl, Health Care Practitioners Ready to Diurese the Sh*t Out of Everyone
WASHINGTON, D.C. - With the completion of Super Bowl XLIX so too ends the weekend of Super Bowl parties, celebrations, and unhealthy eating. It is estimated that our nation of 300 million people is...
Study: Doc McStuffins More Evidence-Based Than Dr. Oz
ANAHEIM, CA - Public health researchers have published the results of a new study which sought to objectively measure the quality of medical advice given by two daytime television shows: Doc McStuffins and The Dr....
Anatomy of a Pager
Other anatomy lessons:
- Anatomy of a Contact Precaution Stethoscope
- Anatomy of an American Football
- Anatomy of the Ear
Stickers for Drug Seekers Program Gaining Momentum
CHARLESTON, SC - An innovative new program implemented at Charleston Clinic is successfully deterring patients suspected of having drug-seeking behavior from returning to their healthcare system, giving hope to medical providers that the war on narcotics...
Doc McStuffins Forced to Resign Due to Dismal Patient Satisfaction Scores
ORLANDO, FL - Children across America are devastated after news broke today that Doc McStuffins will not be asked back for another season. Disney execs announced yesterday that results from patient satisfaction surveys will...
Hospital Administrators Chastise Emergency, Surgical & Medical Staff for Patient Satisfaction Scores Lagging Behind...
BOCA RATON, FL - Staff from three departments - Emergency, Surgery & Internal Medicine - received scathing criticism from hospital administrators at today's monthly meeting for allowing their patient satisfaction scores to "lag behind" the...
Disney Parks Now Require Immunization Record for Admittance
ORLANDO, FL - In a bold and unprecedented response to the recent measles outbreak at Disneyland, Disney execs announced yesterday that they will institute a new policy to safeguard staff and visitors from communicable...