CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case. A patient with no known Ebola exposures in Raleigh, NC fell ill with the virus last week and...
Nurse in Float Pool Petitions for Actual Swimming Pool
DETROIT, MI - Nurses in a float pool at Henry Ford Hospital, led by Nurse Angela O’Donnell, are taking the lead and petitioning hospital leadership for the creation of an actual swimming pool in which...
Beverage Container Left Open at Nurses Station, Three Dead as a Result
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a tragic tale of "I told you so," three nurses died overnight at Mercy Hospital as a result of eating food and leaving open beverages at the nurses station. The...
Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies
VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies, specifically - to ease anxiety for patients, families, and hospital...
Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts
CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks ago by his own hospital staff of abusing "copy and...
NIH Plans to Study Why Narcotics, Benzos Fall Into Sinks, Toilets Excessively
BETHESDA, MD - Last week, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stated that it has $2 million in grant money set aside for a study examining the relationship between prescription narcotics and benzodiazepines and indoor...
Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've been fooling everyone all along, that vaccines don’t work, and...
Which Surgical Specialty Should You Choose?
It’s that time of year: residency application season! You’ve decided that performing procedures, malignant personalities, and years of grueling training are for you but to which surgical subspecialty are you best suited? Take our 4...
Product Review: Mattel’s Resuscitate Me Elmo
Pros / Thanks to his lovable and playful interactions, Resuscitate Me Elmo makes it ridiculously easy and fun to learn cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).
Cons / Battery life is weak and Elmo's chest cracks easily.
The One...
Hospital Administrator Delivers Clutch Performance During In-Flight Cardiac Arrest
DENVER, CO - Passengers and crew are counting themselves fortunate tonight as their United Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Chicago made an emergency landing at Stapleton Airport due to an in-flight emergency. A 68-year-old...