Discharged Patient on Contact Precautions in Hospital, Spotted at Local Grocery Store
BALTIMORE, MD – 63-year-old Clarence Deeters was recently discharged from Mercy Hospital after being admitted and treated for urosepsis. While in the hospital for over...
Mandatory Rectal Tone Checks Reduce Non-Emergent ER Visits
NEWARK, NJ - Grace Regional's ER physicians complained to leadership for years about the excess number of patients going to the ER for non-emergent...
Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System
NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...
Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery
HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures. Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam,...
God Requires Prior Authorization Before Divine Intervention
HEAVEN ABOVE - Unfortunately for patient Lucas Von hopes for a cure have been put on hold as the ultimate provider of us all,...
Laboratory Technician Decides to Delay ‘Stat’ Blood Test Result Due to Excessive Pestering
INDIANA – Today a laboratory technician at Holy Cross Hospital decided enough was enough and took matters into his own hands. At 5:42 a.m....
Study: Length of Birth Plan Correlates to Length of C-Section Scar
ST. LOUIS, MO - A new study just published in the latest Obstetrics and Gynecology Journal demonstrated that the longer a woman’s birth plan...
United Airlines Blames Violent Confrontation on Anesthesia
CHICAGO, IL - After two days of unsatisfying answers from United Airlines regarding the violent extrication of a passenger from its Chicago-to-Louisville flight, CEO...
Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word ‘Dolor’
BOCA RATON, FL - Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word "dolor," successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with...
45-Year-Old EM Physician Reflects Back Upon 4.0 GPA in College While Manually Disimpacting Patient
PENDELTON, IN - Departmental Emergency Medicine Chief Dr. Glenn Henderson was seen staring off into space daydreaming on Monday morning, while digitally disimpacting a 90-year-old nursing home...