Emergency Medicine

discharged patient

Patient Accidentally Discharged Home with Telemetry, Nasal Cannula, Central Line, Arterial Line, Nasogastric Tube…

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ST. LOUIS, MO - An embarrassed inpatient team at St. Louis Health Sciences admitted earlier today that they accidentally discharged patient Michael Berman home today with a few things still in place that they...
guitar

Clinical Scenarios & Songs That Pair Well Together

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We all know about performing CPR to The Bee Gees’ Stayin’ Alive.  That got us thinking: Maybe we should think of songs for other clinical scenarios.  Next time any of the following situations come...
doctor on phone

This Patient Really Belongs on Your Service

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Commentary by a Doctor of a Kind Different From Your Kind Hi.  I’m really sorry to be waking you at an hour such as this one, but there is a problem which I believe requires...
pregnancy test

Pregnant Patient Further Shocked When Told NuvaRing Not Meant to Be Worn on Finger

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MOBILE, AL – Fighting back tears at a press conference last Saturday, Lisa Marie Bamberger told reporters she was “stunned with disbelief” in regards to a recent emergency room visit in which she was informed...
airplane

“Rewards” Program for Frequent Flyers Includes Unlimited, Complimentary Discharges

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ATLANTA, GA - Atlanta University Hospital (AUH) has unveiled a new tiered hospital rewards program for frequent flyers that provides numerous benefits, including free downgrades in pain medications and complimentary discharges.  Though the program...
doctor shortage

Obama Says Sweeping Changes Will Eliminate Doctor Shortage

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Speaking at a live press conference from the Rose Garden today, President Obama announced major changes to health care, that he expects to solve the nation's doctor shortage.  This new law,...
emergency department

Patient in ED Knows Nothing About Medical History, Surgeries, or Medications

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SAN JOSE, CA - When Dr. Anderson, a seasoned emergency room attending, went into room 14 late last night, he experienced a first in his long distinguished medical career.  While getting a history and...
doctor in er

Modified DEA License Allows Healthcare Practitioners to Not Prescribe Dilaudid

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a brilliant collaboration by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and nearly every medical professional organization in the United States, health care practitioners will now have the option to obtain either...
couple kissing

Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor

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Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom. Emergency Medicine Go skydiving to get the adrenaline going.  Speed home.  Once there, run upstairs and cut...
emergency physician

Dear BaconSpeak Voice Recognition Software Company

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I am an emergent see room dock door.  I am righting to let you no how much eye am in joying your voice recognition software.  Just like your sails man promised, it is a...