SOL: In-Flight Emergency Medical Kit Just Contains Bicarb
DELTA 1342 - Well, I hate to break this news to you, especially since you were just so nice enough to volunteer and help out with this mid-flight medical emergency - we really do...
100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism
NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning, Santa was diagnosed with acute pulmonary embolism (PE) and bilateral...
Emergency Department Only Taking Care of Very Pleasant Patients
HOGSMEADE, CT - The emergency department of South Shore Hospital in Hogsmeade will only be treating "very pleasant" patients starting November 1, 2018. Argus Filch, charge nurse, laments the policy change but sees no...
Boxing Day Returns: Admitting Services May Return 1 Unwanted Holiday Admission to the ER
HAMILTON, ONTARIO, CANADA - McMaster University has been at the forefront of Canadian Medical research progress (pronounced pro-gress north of the border) since shortly after its founding in 1887. Now, the Marauders are transitioning into...
Breaking: Mr. Peanut Allergic to Himself
PITTSBURGH, PA - Unfortunate news today as the Kraft Heinz Company announced that one of its most beloved mascots, Planters' Mr. Peanut, has been diagnosed with a peanut allergy.
"This is a very unusual case...
Breaking: U.S. Economy Crashes, Transferred to ICU
NEW YORK, NY - Gomerblog has learned that the U.S. economy is crashing and is no longer stable for the medical floor. It has been transferred to the medical intensive care unit (MICU) for...
Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest
BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at Doctors University Hospital are stunned to see the first ever...
ER Doctor Lost in Space-Time Continuum After Switching From Day Shifts to Nights Then...
SAN DIEGO, CA - In an unfortunate event last month Dr. Emmert Gencey, a new 29-year-old ER doc, became lost in the space-time continuum for about a week after he switched from day shift to...
Off-Service Intern Writes Pulitzer Prize Winning Provider Note While EM Resident Sees Thirty Patients
“I just want to get the voice right,” said brand-new internal medicine resident Dr. Joseph Green. “Like, I want to paint a picture of her pain that feels real. I want the texture, the...
Breaking: Code Team Resuscitates Flatlining WiFi Signal on Delta Flight
DELTA 1554 - Progressively becoming more altered and unresponsive as the flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta climbed towards cruising altitude, the Atlanta-based Delta crew didn’t simply ask if there was a doctor on...
