Twas the Night of Call
'Twas the night of call, when all through the ward
Not a patient was stirring, and the nurses quite bored
The Emerg referred patients who just...
Samsung Galaxy Pager Explodes, Intern in Critical Condition
DURHAM, NC – An internal medicine intern Becky Lambert is in critical condition today after her Samsung Galaxy pager overheated and exploded. The incident occurred at...
Surgeon General Finishes Rounding on 320 Million Americans, Dreads Writing Notes
WASHINGTON, DC - Late last night a very visibly tired Surgeon General of the United States Vivek Murthy finally finished rounding on every American...
Code Team Performs Ill-Timed Mannequin Challenge During CPR
JACKSONVILLE, FL - A code team at Jacksonville Medical Center (JMC) is under investigation after an ill-timed Mannequin Challenge during a cardiac arrest went...
Hospital to Reduce Infections by Coating Patients In Anti-Bacterial Ointment
CHICAGO, IL - Chicago General Hospital is beginning a new initiative to reduce infections in the hospital. Dr. Reiff Lightlier, CMO of the hospital,...
Anesthesiologists Now Required by Law to Scratch Itching Surgeons During Operations
BOCA RATON, FL - The longstanding practice of anesthesiologists having to scratch surgeons in the operating room has now become codified into law. Effective next...
Stricter Operating Room Attire Policy Now Calls for Decapitation
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After extensive evidence-based research, recent updates to the hospital policy for OR hats and attire were released at the staff...
Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth
BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine? Not any more. According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...
Hotelier Recommendations for Emergency Department “Improvement”
Due to increasing pressure on administrative staff to correct for their hospital’s Press Gainey deficit, administrator Eagerpants McGee of New York City Hospital unveiled...
