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NASA: Mars Rover Tests Positive for Coronavirus

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PASADENA, CA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, NASA has announced that Mars rover Curiosity has tested positive for coronavirus. This is a shock to everyone since the World Health Organization had confidently announced...
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CDC Guidelines Using Pathologists as Model for ‘Extreme Social Distancing’

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ATLANTA, GA - With point of care testing for SARS-CoV-2 drastically lagging behind patient demand, experts at the CDC are urging the public to help practice social distancing to help flatten the epidemiologic curve. In...
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Orthopod Launches BroFundMe to Find a Cure for COVID-19

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Denver, CO - With elective surgeries being cancelled across the country, orthopedic surgeons have found themselves with an increasing amount of free time. “My patients have to live with torn ACLs - how are...
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COVID-19: Anesthesia Amazed They Haven’t Been Blamed for Any of This

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SCHAUMBURG, IL - Pandemic coronavirus, COVID-19. Hundreds of thousands infected. Sports suspended. Nations on lockdown. Social distancing. Markets crashing. And it's only just begun. Yet somehow amidst...

COVID-19: Purell Launches Dozens of Hand-Sanitizing Missiles

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an aggressive effort to mitigate the spread of novel coronavirus COVID-19, Purell has launched no fewer than 20 hand sanitizing missiles at regions of the United States most affected by...
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Local Hospital To Pilot Drive-Thru Intubation Clinic In Response to COVID-19 Spread

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GREENEVILLE, TN - St. Indignant’s Health Care System has announced a new partnership with the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services to pilot an innovative drive-thru intubation clinic in the parking lot of...
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Joint Commission Riding Out COVID-19 Outbreak With Heads in Sand

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – In the ongoing fight against the novel coronavirus, healthcare workers across the country have been resorting to all sorts of innovative methods in the pursuit of helping the most patients possible....

WHO: Coronavirus Successfully Contained to Planet Earth

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GENEVA, SWITZERLAND - At a televised press conference this morning, the World Health Organization (WHO) announced that they have successfully contained the deadly virus that causes COVID-19 to Earth.  Although it can be found...

“Hands Across the Globe” Fundraiser Aims to Stop Spread of Coronavirus

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WUHAN, CHINA—The 1980s’ supergroup USA for Africa, known mostly for its hunger-awareness-raising “We Are the World” tune and “Hands Across America” event, announced yesterday that it was reuniting to organize a new charity campaign....
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Everyone in the Hospital Knew Anesthesia’s Real Name All Along

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With the COVID-19 outbreak, health systems worldwide are coming up with plans to maximize their resources in the face of this pandemic. With COVID-19 suspected of being droplet spread and the possibility of patients...