Trump Unites Us All with Plan to Build Wall Around Hospitals, Prevent Admissions
CLEVELAND, OH - In front of supporters at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump has unified not only the Republican Party but also Americans,...
Cashier Who Criticized Nurse’s Appearance Fired Due to Rude Personality
Last week, Nurse Mary Penney was in line at a store when a cashier critiqued her appearance and found it surprising that she was...
Google to Deploy Self-Driving Colonoscopes
PALO ALTO, CA - Google has started to roll out their self-driving colonoscopies. "We are very excited about this new technology," said CEO Sundar Pichai....
Bovie Electrocautery Receives FDA Approval for Cutting Red Tape
SILVER SPRING, MD - In an unprecedented move by the Food & Drug Administration (FDA), Bovie electrocautery has been approved for both incisional and excisional...
Doctor Gets Pulled for Jeopardy, Wins $24,000
BURBANK, CA - Steven Lowell was bummed that in the early hours of his off day, he got pulled for jeopardy. Lucky for Lowell...
Breaking: Med Student Plagiarized Michelle Obama in Recent Consult Note
Reports out of Mercy Hospital indicate that 4th year medical student Adam Hunter has blatantly plagiarized Michelle Obama’s 2008 democratic convention speech in a...
American Board of Hospitalists Publishes Guidelines for Orthopaedic Imaging
Hospitalists manage extremely complex disease processes that require intense critical thinking and deep analysis to properly diagnose and treat.
Bones, however, are quite straightforward. If...
Study: 90% Of Rectal Foreign Bodies Are Idiopathic
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A recent retrospective review of Birmingham, Alabama confirms that 90% of rectal foreign bodies are idiopathic. Colorectal surgeon Joshua P Dengle...
85-Year-Old Physician Executes Quadruple Click in Heroic Attempt to Open Patient’s Chart
LOUISVILLE, KY - Witnesses were reportedly stunned yesterday when Dr. Montgomery "Monty" Rutherford, an 85-year-old internist, performed a quadruple click in a heroic attempt...
Pokémon Go Update: Local Man Walks Into an OR to Catch Rare Pokémon: Abra
CHARLOTTE, NC - Local man, Danny Nguyen, wandered into St. Elizabeth Hospital's operating room chasing down a rare Pokémon: Abra. "I had no idea...