Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
Tips: How to Defuse the Angry Patient (or at the Very Least, Make Things...
Handling the angry patient (or family member) is a very delicate situation, so we should all be grateful that we were never educated on...
Fifth Pressor Discovered: ICU Stay Extended 2 Days, No Difference in Outcome
LOS ANGELES, CA – Critical care physicians and nurses rejoiced Thursday at the news of a 5th vasopressor drug-class discovery. 5-omega-dopanephrinone or "Omnipress" is a...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question
SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones. Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin. Austin, a new...
A Patient Wins Oscar in the Category of Best Drama Queen
Ms. Have It All, a frequent flyer at Lord Have Mercy Hospital, was going through a rollercoaster ride of emotions while receiving an Oscar...
Bernie Sanders’ Hernia Likely Caused by Strain of Attempting to Lift Up Middle Class
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A source close to the colorectal surgeon who treated Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders for an abdominal hernia this week said...
Surgeons Demand OR Be Changed to Operating Department
SEATTLE, WA - In today’s competitive healthcare market, public perspectives are critical to manage. Accordingly, emergency physicians have demanded a change of the term...
Random Mom in Hospital Telling Everybody to Sit Up Straight & Eat Their Vegetables
ATLANTA, GA - “COME ON, SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!” ordered a random Mom hanging around the floors of Georgia Medical Center (GMC). “KEEP SLOUCHING LIKE...
Area Radiologist Squirms When Flight Attendant Asks If ‘Anyone Onboard is a Doctor’ on...
Dr. Stan Lee’s flight from Boston to Paris became decidedly less comfortable when a frantic call came over the PA system looking for urgent...