Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving
DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country. Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration that involves giving thanks, food comas, gluttony, beer, and football. Sounds...
Local Jockeys Hired as Flight Nurses to Save on Fuel Costs
MADISON, WI - Emergency air medical transport & critical care transport company, Lift for Life, has significantly changed their operations. In an unprecedented move to save fuel costs, Lift for Life replaced their entire...
Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In
CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver. This particular surgery is one of the most difficult procedures...
Local Paramedic Looking Forward to Saving Patient’s Life and Getting No Credit Once Again
NASHVILLE, TN - 26-year-old paramedic Josh Langhorn is looking forward to his upcoming Friday night shift. One of the highlights of Josh's shift involves performing life-saving procedures in austere and dynamic environments and racing the patient to the hospital...
Secret of Successful Weight Loss Clinic: Tape Worms
CARINGTON, IL - Recent controversy regarding a famous weight loss clinic, Let’s Knock It Off!, has the media in a buzz. Let’s Knock It Off! has been an up-and-coming weight-loss empire, with many Hollywood success stories.
Perennial weight-gainer/weight-loser,...
Elderly Male Patient Enjoying Foley Catheter, Refuses Removal
SPANISH FORT, AL - South Hospital has taken a brave step to become latex free by 2016. The board voted to replace the soft, elastic, flexible urinary foley catheters with a latex-free alternative.
“I was worried by...
Local Resident Physician Found in Respiratory Therapist Car’s Trunk
GLENDALE, AZ – Resident physician, Dr. Chad Rogers, was finally found after a 2-day manhunt. His wife states that he went to work 8 days ago and not coming home after a week triggered an alarm. "I...
CDC Break Room Found to Be Culprit in New Bacterial Outbreak
ATLANTA, GA - A recent outbreak of a dangerous enterobacteria, brought the Center for Disease Control (CDC) to their own backyard yesterday to search for a cause. It looks like they may have found what they are looking...
Seasoned ICU Nurse Forces Interns to Hand Over Computer Password to Correctly Enter Orders
CHATTANOOGA, TN – Veteran ICU nurse, Susan Billings, has been working in the ICU for over 25 years now and she is fed up with inaccurate and dangerous orders written by new medical interns. She has taken matters...
Local Doctors Refuse to Take Care of Nickelback, Cite Do No Harm
DETROIT, MI - On Saturday at 3:14 p.m., Nickelback’s tour bus crashed into a herd of rouge elephants that had escaped from the now abandoned Detroit City Zoo. All four members were brought to a local ER. Their...