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periorbital mass nose

Ophtho Relieved That Periorbital Mass Is Just the Patient’s Nose

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AUGUSTA, GA - Thanks to the assistance of both Oncology & ENT, a local ophthalmologist is relieved to find out a patient's periorbital mass...
cocaine enthusiasm

Med Student Attributes Wide-Eyed Enthusiasm to Cocaine Use

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NEW YORK, NY - Internal medicine attending Lauren Stevens was really impressed with her third-year medical student Steven Donnelly, in particular the energy and...

Med Student Interested In Dermatology Already Acting Like A Mohs Surgeon

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On a quiet Tuesday afternoon, the dermatology clinics at GMH (General Medical Hospital) are filled with the sounds of clicks and types. As each...

Excitement of Black Hole Image Tempered by Concerns Over Galactic Coronary Artery Disease

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Last month the first images of a black hole were released to the public. Early excitement was quickly tempered by concerns from a...
Super Mario 27 Bones

Breaking Bricks No More: Mario Shatters All 27 Bones in Left Hand

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WORLD 3-2 - It looks like the cumulative lifetime effect of punching bricks has finally caught up to our favorite plumber: In an attempt...

Landmark Study: Fortnite Superior to Dilaudid in Teenage Males

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POUGHKEEPSIE, NY - A groundbreaking new study conducted by CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Poughkeepsie) found that teenage males preferred access to the popular video...
barrage pages

Intrepid Med-Peds Explorers Set Out to Search for Rumored Med-Peds Hospitalist Jobs

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YUKON TERRITORY, CANADA - Dispatches from the frozen north today report that a group of 40 brave Med-Peds physicians have set out into the...

Impassable EMR Alert Demands Flu Shot For Deceased Patient

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A best practice alert, recently programmed by a highly competent collaboration between non-clinical quality and IT personnel, popped up today when Beth, RN was...
hypothalamus

Unable to Fix Office Thermostat, Neurosurgeon Removes Own Hypothalamus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Talk to any health care professional and they'll tell you that self-treatment is not the best idea. However, for one...

ICU Hires Wardrobe Consultants to Help With Donning and Doffing of Contact Gowns, Compliance...

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WEST JERSEY, UK - Around 90% of the patients in the ICU's at West Jersey Regional Medical Center were on contact precautions last fiscal...