Friday, March 29, 2024

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Report: Most People Will Survive Pandemic, But Their Livers Will Not

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ATLANTA, GA—A new report released earlier this week by the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) contained both good and bad news. The good news is that, according to scientists’ calculations, the vast...

Unused Mammogram Machine Repurposed as Hospital Panini Press

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With so many elective procedures cancelled in the wake of the COVID pandemic, many pieces of hospital equipment have started gathering dust. But one radiologist had different plans for the mammogram machine in the...

Maternity Wards Stockpile Billions of Diapers to Prepare for Onslaught of Pandemic Babies

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NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have started stockpiling billions of diapers in preparation for the expected...

With Hospitals Overrun, Physicians Turning To Internet Know-It-Alls For Help

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Miami, Florida – With the COVID19 pandemic overtaking hospitals here in some US cities, overwhelmed physicians are hopeful they’ve found a promising new resource: internet-know-it-alls. Dr. Robert Smith, Chief Medical Officer for the Longwood...

DaVinci Announces Partnership with Hair Salons, Tattoo Parlors

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US citizens, eager to have their economy open up, will soon have an exciting opportunity. Hair salons and tattoo parlors have struggled with how to maintain safe “social distancing,” Now, DaVinci robots will provide...

Conspiracy! Powerful Microscope Finds “Made in China” Imprinted on Virus

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ATLANTA, GA—Staring for hours at the 500,000x-magnified image of the novel coronavirus under his electron microscope, Dr. Henry Thomson of the CDC just could not believe his startling discovery: Imprinted at the base of...
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The Makers of the Ativan Diffuser Announce Ground Breaking New Product

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Capitalizing on their previous success throughout the healthcare world by the H-Vape 86, the makers of the Ativan Diffuser have begun selling their new Ketamine Diffuser. After the significant research by the Emergency Medicine...
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Thousands of Surgeons Dying Daily of Wearing Masks

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Chicago, IL- The American Association of Orthopaedic Surgeons announced today that the nation is running out of orthopaedic surgeons.  “We’re losing 1,500-2,000 surgeons everyday. They’re just dropping like flies...

Online NP Programs to Eliminate Clinical Requirements to Maximally Exploit COVID19

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Austin, TX -  In the past several months while the country has been undersiege from the Coronavirus, numerous political and professional groups have taken full advantage of the crisis to promote their own agendas. 
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Which Song Best Represents Your Specialty?

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Everyone has that one song that fits them perfectly. Doctors are no different, we’ve compiled the definitive list of songs that best represent some of the various specialties. If we didn't cover your...