Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...
TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s...
CDC Recommends Against Finding Hypodermic Needles in a Haystack
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says there is minimal risk associated with the search for a regular needle in...
Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA
WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic.
This hasn't been an...
Teaching Team Consults Magic 8-Ball for Assistance
NEW YORK, NY - "Will my patient need placement?" intern Jamie Dreessen asked the Magic 8-Ball, shaking it solidly for 15-seconds before placing it on...
Internist Able to Hear Heart Sounds Using Disposable Stethoscope
CHICAGO, IL – In what is believed to have been a first, Dr. Dick Andersen legitimately heard heart sounds using a disposable “MRSA stethoscope”...
Dr. Oz Releases New Self-Help Book Entitled ‘You: The Malingerer’
In a bid to expand his clientele beyond weight conscious, measles-loving middle aged women, Dr. Oz added a new title to his best-selling line...
AOL Instant Messenger Made Comfort Measures Only
NEW YORK, NY - AOL Instant Messenger (AIM), the 1990s chat program that arguably gave birth to our modern age of social media, has...
ER Techs Now to Carry Fanny Packs with More Stuff
It's no secrets that in the ER if a nurse or doctor requires a piece of equipment that the tech is the one who...
Doctors Become Obsessed When Elderly Lady Doesn’t Obsess About Her Bowels
Elderly Columbus resident Annette Smith was deemed mentally unfit after a recent hospitalization because she didn't even realize she was supposed to shit every...