life preserver life preservers

CDC Mandates Life Preservers to Avoid Drowning in Paperwork

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ATLANTA, GA - The result of an alarming increase in paperwork-associated deaths by drowning, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has officially...

Hospital Administrators to Evaluate Surgeon’s Potential for Revenue Versus Headache Generation

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NASHVILLE, TN - Noted researchers Dr. Harvey Stephens and Dr. Phil Burman offer a new matrix for evaluating surgeons for employment.  The STAR (Surgeon...
paper airplane, paperwork

Stack of Paperwork Transforms into Fleet of Paper Planes

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CHICAGO, IL - Internist Jenny Richardson sat down at her clinic desk this morning to find an undesirable stack of paperwork (you know the...
audible sighs world record world-record

Breaking: ABIM Requires Daily Recertification

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a move that will most certainly not be received well by the medical community, the American Board of Internal Medicine...
doctor on computer

Alternate Phrases for “This is a Very Pleasant…”

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It’s not uncommon to start a history of present illness (HPI), assessment, or discharge summary with the following phrase: This is a very pleasant…...

EMR Developers Shocked to Learn How Their Software is Actually Used

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Several developers of widely-used electronic medical record (EMR) software were invited out of their cubicles last week for a much-hyped tour of the real-world...
medical SOAP note

Internist Creates Last Written SOAP Note: A Masterpiece for the Ages

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STONY BROOK, NY - On the eve of the Good Samaritan Hospital's final conversion to an all electronic medical record, local internal medicine legend,...
ehr

A Visit from Doc SUPER USER

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Twas the night Before Go Live, And no LIP was in the house No one was home yet, They were all with their mouse They clicked...
emergency physician

Dear BaconSpeak Voice Recognition Software Company

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I am an emergent see room dock door.  I am righting to let you no how much eye am in joying your voice recognition...
aliens running emr

Ancient Aliens Take Over Electronic Medical Records

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GROOM LAKE, NV - Why does your electronic medical record (EMR) function sooooo poorly?  Are ignorance, negligence, and terrible design the answer?  Can intrusive government...