Breaking: Admitting Service Forgets to Ask ED Physician, “What Do You Expect Me to...
JACKSON, MI – In a stunning display of forgetfulness, the admitting hospitalist at Mercy Hospital has forgotten to snarkily reply to an admission request with “What do you expect me to do about it?”
The...
Fifth Pressor Discovered: ICU Stay Extended 2 Days, No Difference in Outcome
LOS ANGELES, CA – Critical care physicians and nurses rejoiced Thursday at the news of a 5th vasopressor drug-class discovery. 5-omega-dopanephrinone or "Omnipress" is a new vasopressor recently fast tracked by the FDA overnight. "It...
Intern Immediately Regrets Asking Open-Ended Question
SAN JOSE, CA - “Hi, Mr. Jones. Tell me about your night,” said by the stupidest, know-nothingest, why-did-I-just-do-that intern, Dr. Austin. Austin, a new intern at HarborHealth immediately regretted asking an open-ended question to...
Study: The People’s Elbow is the Most Electrifying Move in All of ACLS
HAYWARD, CA - FINALLY! The Rock… HAS COME BACK... to cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR)! A new study in the New England Journal of Sports Entertainment (NEJSE) has confirmed something that we knew all along: The...
Video: 10/10 Abdominal Pain While Eating Doritos & Talking on Her Cell Phone
We sat down with Dr. Gomez, a doctor who treated a patient with 10/10 abdominal pain while eating Doritos and talking on her cell phone. He tells the story of what was going on....
Hospital Gets Inadequate Transfer Documents, Sends Patient Back
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A tertiary care academic medical center has sent shockwaves through the medical community after sending a patient back to the transferring hospital after receiving inadequate transfer documents.
Dr. Vincent Mario, Chief of...
Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter
SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving. 87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one doozy of a patient. Lynch has earned the nickname “Beast...
Physician is Such a Gunner, Writes Two Notes on Same Patient in One Day
ATLANTA, GA - In a striking development last night at Georgia Medical Center (GMC), internal medicine physician Craig Kellerman wrote two notes on the same patient in the same day, an unheard of feat...
Recipe: GomerBlog’s Chicken Noodle Soup with Vancomycin & Zosyn
Ever wonder why chicken noodle soup is good for the soul? It’s because your soul is severely infected and needs to be treated with broad-spectrum antibiotics. Next time you’re not feeling well, use this...
Hospitalist Breaks His Own Record by Seeing 100 Patients in a Day
Dr. Speedy Gonzalez didn’t realize untill he counted the number of patients at the end of a busy Saturday evening that he had broken his own previous record by seeing patients in triple digits...
