Heavy Metal Now First Line in Treatment of Symptomatic Bradycardia
DALLAS, TX - New advanced cardiac life support (ACLS) guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA) now recommends heavy metal as the first line treatment of symptomatic bradycardia.
"Last year, a pivotal study found that...
Interventional Radiology To Only Do Procedures if INR < 0
OAK BROOK, IL - In an effort to completely eliminate the risk of bleeding, newly-issued guidelines from the Radiological Society of North America (RSNA) now recommend that interventional procedures should only be performed once...
A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Use Incentive Spirometers (or Marijuana)
Is this your first time using an incentive spirometer (or marijuana)? Well, you're in luck: our Gomerblog team has created this easy 15-step process to using your incentive spirometer (or weed). Don't be intimidated,...
Hospitalist Releases Limited Edition Discharge Summary on Vinyl
NASHVILLE, TN - Fans will be queueing up at medical records departments across the country as critically-acclaimed hospitalist Amanda Snider announced she will be releasing a limited-edition discharge summary on vinyl. The release will...
Nice Work, Brah: Ortho Note Mentions Horizontal Nystagmus
BOSTON, MA - Hospitalists, neurologists, and neurosurgeons at Massachusetts Specific Hospital in Boston were dumbfounded this morning when they found that a note by orthopaedic surgeon Brock Hammersley mentioned the finding of horizontal nystagmus.
"What...
What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA
ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply isn't enough, thousands of guests in the Atlanta area have...
Hospitalist Washes Car with Alcohol-Based Foam
NASHVILLE, TN - Hospitalist Dana Avery walked into her patient’s room this morning and noticed he was using alcohol-based foam. Not an unusual observation. However, he didn’t stop after using it to clean his...
Ultra Breaking News: Patient Doesn’t Want Turkey Sandwich
NORFOLK, VA - Gomerblog brings you a startling development: A patient hospitalized at an area hospital in Norfolk has caught his inpatient medical team off guard by stating he doesn't want a turkey sandwich...
100,000,000 Miles Later: Santa Diagnosed with Acute Pulmonary Embolism
NORTH POLE - Santa pulled off another successful Christmas for children around the world but it has come with a cost: Earlier this morning, Santa was diagnosed with acute pulmonary embolism (PE) and bilateral...
That Can’t Be Good: Flu Swab Positive for C. Diff
ATLANTA, GA - In a highly-ominous sign suggesting this year's influenza season may be as bad or even worse than last year's, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has reported that an...