Charting Complication: Hospitalist Develops Stage 4 Sacral Decub
BOSTON, MA - Hospitalist Sofia Candelaria was simply being a good hospitalist by spending 90% of her day documenting things that needed to be documented. Unfortunately her attempt to pound out 10 discharge summaries...
Area Doctor Now Apologizes Before Every Consult
MARKERSBURG, TN - Dr. Lois Siento thinks she has the key to improving relationships between primary teams and consultants.
"It's simple," she explains. "We give consultant business. Consultants like to get cases from us that...
Vader Displeased with Readmissions, Delinquent Discharge Summaries
MED-SURG UNIT, DEATH STAR MEDICAL CENTER, DEATH STAR - We have received word from the Rebel Alliance that Darth Vader has been distracted and displeased by the woeful readmission and length-of-stay metrics reported at last...
Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today
HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it is being incredibly productive today.
"Man, you're not going to believe...
Hospice Agencies Pioneering a Different Approach to the Decidedly Unglamorous Process of Dying
“Our clients customize their own End of Living Plans down to the finest details,” mused company spokesperson Delilah Banerjee. “Their final months, days, and even minutes are occasions to express themselves. You only die...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased a full-strength aspirin to 331 mg after adjusting for an...
Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All
BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton bombshell that nystatin isn't a real statin after all. That's...
Shhh, Doctor Physically Tucking In Patients Before Heading Home
PROVIDENCE, RI - It's not uncommon for inpatient health care professionals to say they're going to "tuck in their patients" before shift change or going home for the day. However, one hospitalist named Dan...
Practice Management Breakthrough: Hospitalist to Direct Admit Self to Own Service
SALEM, MA - A major breakthrough is heralded today in the field of hospital medicine that promises to solve the eternal problem of provider fatigue while at the same time increasing hospital production. Sandy...
Bitcoin Users Infected with Cryptocurrency Meningitis
ATLANTA, GA - Over the past month, volatile swings in bitcoin have led to an ominous halving of its value, which has thrown investors into a panic. Today digital currency and its faithful followers...
