Dior’s New Yellow Isolation Ballroom Gowns are Stunning
PARIS, FRANCE - In breaking news that has the fashion industry stirring, designers at Christian Dior are bringing style back into isolation rooms by replacing the boxy and boring isolation gowns of old with...
Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’
BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the chief complaints of "fevers, Netflix & chills." Karter Smith, age...
California Vaccination Rates Soar with Drone-Delivered Vaccines
SACRAMENTO, CA - California reports rapid increases in its vaccination rates, thanks to a new partnership with Amazon Prime’s drone service.
“For years, we’ve had areas with large numbers of unvaccinated children. These were mostly...
Surgeons are Furious! The Bouffant vs. The Skull Cap
For decades, the skull cap has been the surgical cap of choice for many surgeons across the country. Recently, hospitals have begun banning the use of skull caps in favor of the bouffant hat...
Super Bacteria Found In Hipster’s Beard, Also Has Beard
WILLIAMSBURG, NY - A local area hospital recently broke the news that a highly drug-resistant bacterial species was isolated from a man’s beard. The source, presumed to be patient zero, was identified as a...
Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick, or Johnson are "almost certain" to acquire at least one...
ISIS Plans to Over-Prescribe Antibiotics
ISIS - The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) released a statement on their social media yesterday with their new terror plans:
It isn't quite clear how the Islamic State got their hands on so...
Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered
Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers). Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations. Environmental factors, such as US/UK location, lack of a formal education, Facebook...
Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?
CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after a panel review at the recent national meeting.
“With no major...
Skinny Jeans Increase Venous Return in Sepsis
CINCINNATI, OH - A recent study out of Northside, Cincinnati claims all-cause mortality benefit in sepsis with addition of skinny jeans to early goal directed therapy. It has long been known that early aggressive...
