Dior’s New Yellow Isolation Ballroom Gowns are Stunning
PARIS, FRANCE - In breaking news that has the fashion industry stirring, designers at Christian Dior are bringing style back into isolation rooms by...
Millennial Admitted to Hospital for ‘Fevers, Netflix & Chills’
BOCA RATON, FL - Yesterday evening, staff hospitalist Dr Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was called by the Madre De Díos Hospital ER to admit a patient with the...
California Vaccination Rates Soar with Drone-Delivered Vaccines
SACRAMENTO, CA - California reports rapid increases in its vaccination rates, thanks to a new partnership with Amazon Prime’s drone service.
“For years, we’ve had...
Surgeons are Furious! The Bouffant vs. The Skull Cap
For decades, the skull cap has been the surgical cap of choice for many surgeons across the country. Recently, hospitals have begun banning the...
Super Bacteria Found In Hipster’s Beard, Also Has Beard
WILLIAMSBURG, NY - A local area hospital recently broke the news that a highly drug-resistant bacterial species was isolated from a man’s beard. The...
Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
ISIS Plans to Over-Prescribe Antibiotics
ISIS - The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) released a statement on their social media yesterday with their new terror plans:
It isn't quite...
Mutations in the Anti-Vaxxers’ Brain Discovered
Scientists have made a major breakthrough in understanding the brain functions of anti-vaccine proponents (anti-vaxxers). Mutations in the Y74 gene encode for these transformations. Environmental...
Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?
CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after...
Skinny Jeans Increase Venous Return in Sepsis
CINCINNATI, OH - A recent study out of Northside, Cincinnati claims all-cause mortality benefit in sepsis with addition of skinny jeans to early goal...