Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Infectious Disease

placebo pill

Lupus Foundation Places Nation’s Supply of Hydroxychloroquine Under Quarantine

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WASHINGTON, DC—Except for people with lupus, anyone else hoping to score some hydroxychloroquine (HCQ), is unfortunately out of luck. In an effort to keep the vital lupus drug away from people who had heard—based...
bicarb-only sodium bicarbonate

FDA Studying Bicarb in Treatment of Coronavirus

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Desperate times call for desperate measures. Numerous drugs are being studied in the treatment of novel coronavirus, but the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) says the one touting...

Covid and Cambria North American Tour Kicks Off with a Bang!

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The new sensation that's sweeping the nation!

CDC Now Recommends Using Baby Diapers for PPE

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ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control has issued a statement recommending that doctors and nurses should now use baby diapers for PPE. Given the widespread national shortages of N95 respirator masks, there...

Jealous Influenza Wonders What It Has to Do to Get Some Damn Attention Around...

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Dear Gomerblog, I’m an avid reader of your hilarious website, but lately I couldn’t help but notice that there are a ton of posts about that loser Coronavirus and none about me. I get it,...
breathing

In Effort to Contain Coronavirus, CDC Urges Americans to Abstain from Breathing for 2...

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ATLANTA, GA—Citing the effectiveness of sex abstinence in preventing sexually-transmitted infections like HIV, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has strongly advised Americans to abstain from breathing for at least 2 weeks...

A COVID-19 Miracle: Jesus Turns Water into Hand Sanitizer

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BETHLEHEM - Add another miracle to His already impressive resume: Jesus has offered humanity hope in its fight against COVID-19 by turning water into hand sanitizer. The Son of...
hospital administrators

Administrators Volunteer To Screen Patients During Pandemic

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After spreading the CDC’s gospel for healthcare workers exposed to COVID-19 and lacking face masks to show up to work with their bandanas, health administrators also left their telehuddles (where it was decided that nurses...

COVID-19: Pretend RNs, MDs Recruited to the Front Line

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NEW YORK, NY - In an effort to bolster our nation's supply of health care workers, young pretend nurses and doctors far and wide have signed up in crayon to help join...

NASA: Mars Rover Tests Positive for Coronavirus

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PASADENA, CA - In breaking news to Gomerblog, NASA has announced that Mars rover Curiosity has tested positive for coronavirus. This is a shock to everyone since the...