Joint Commission Inspections to Continue on Zoom During COVID Pandemic
The Joint Commision announced today that they are planning to continue regularly scheduled inspections of hospitals during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Experts at the JC are touting that the importance for the inspections to...
Colossal coronavirus about to devour New York City
NEW YORK, NY - Currently billions and billions of virus-sized Godzillas are wreaking havoc on New York. The coronavirus is speading like wildfire. Now a large ominous virus has come from the sea to...
CDC: Test Kits Are Low, Critically Ill & Famous People Only
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released new guidelines today to to help ration COVID-19 testing kits. They now ask to refrain from testing for the novel coronavirus, or COVID-19, unless you are "critically ill...
Easter Bunny Tests Positive for Coronavirus
BUNNY LANE - So much for getting the United States up and running by April 12: our beloved Easter Bunny has contracted coronavirus, Gomerblog is sad to report.
"When there was talk about reopening...
COVID-19: CDC Recommends Not Listening to CDC Recommendations
ATLANTA, GA - After receiving harsh criticism for its recommendation to resort to scarves and bandanas when facemasks are no longer available, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) no longer recommends listening...
CDC decides to put all of New York on a ventilator
NYC, New York - The recent coronavirus outbreak has devastated New York City to say the least. Their infection rate almost out numbers the rest of the United States combined. With a shortage of...
Breaking: Earth’s Inner Core Tests Positive for Coronavirus
LONDON, ENGLAND - Earth's inner core has tested positive for the novel coronavirus, Gomerblog reports.
This is grave news for those holding hope that coronavirus is seasonal considering temperatures at Earth's center are conjectured to...
Dr. Fauci Implores We All Watch Bob Ross on Infinite Loop Immediately
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Addressing a restless and concerned American public over COVID-19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), recommends we all start watching Bob Ross painting...
BREAKING: New York City Resident Tests Negative for COVID-19
“I’ve run 753 tests for COVID-10 this week alone and this man’s test was the first negative I’ve seen. I was nearly certain that everyone in Manhattan had Coronavirus.” Dr. Corbin explained.
Primary Care Docs Happily Handing Out Z-Pak Prescriptions to Coronavirus Patient
CHICAGO, IL—Citing decades’ worth of experience using the drug to treat all types of viral respiratory infections, the nation’s primary care physicians (PCPs) are leading the charge against the novel coronavirus by turning to...