Monday, July 13, 2020

Infectious Disease

COVID-19 Update: Palliative Care Makes U.S. DNR

ATLANTA, GA - Accepting that COVID-19 is progressing despite all of our best efforts, Palliative has been consulted and has officially made the United States DNR. "It...

FDA Rejects Rapid COVID-19 Test in Favor of Slow-as-Balls One

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has rejected the first rapid COVID-19 test that could produce results with an hour in favor of a slow-as-balls COVID-19 test that might...

COVID-19: Lady Liberty Shelters in Place on Liberty Island

NEW YORK, NY - Heeding the warnings of local public health officials regarding pandemic COVID-19, the Statue of Liberty will shelter in place on Liberty Island for the indefinite future.

Music Therapy: Gomerblog’s COVID-19 Doomsday Playlist

One of my friends with Palliative Care started this, thank goodness... and I got obsessed with it. I think we all need this. What started out as a...

COVID-19 Study: 90% of Americans Said “But I Feel Fine” Before Testing Positive

BETHESDA, MD - In a new study published in the Diary of the American Medical Association (DAMA), researchers found that 90% of U.S. patients who tested positive for coronavirus said the phrase...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

Supply of ICD-10 Codes for COVID-19 “Dangerously Low”

ATLANTA, GA - Just when the situation couldn't get any more dire for health care professionals on the front line, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) reports the supply of...

Military Doctors Petrified if Motrin Found to Worsen Coronavirus

Military physicians are on the edge of their seats after an opinion article out of France mentioned that NSAIDs may worsen Coronavirus infections. Extreme panic may be a better way to describe the way...

Heaven & Hell in Lockdown After Both Test Positive for COVID-19

HEAVEN ABOVE & HELL BELOW - Bad news for those who think that life after death will finally grant a reprieve from the viciously contagious novel coronavirus here on Earth: Heaven &...

COVID-19 Tips: What to Do When No Facemasks Are Available

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has delineated initial steps on what to do when no N95 respirators or facemasks are available, and its final step actually states "in settings...

An Orthopaedic Surgeon Explains Coronavirus

Globogym Headquarters, CA – All rights dudes and dudettes, this Coronavirus is treating the world the way Busch Light treats gas station toilets. So set down your bro-tein shakes and lo-carb...