Infectious Disease

joint commission

Joint Commission Inspections to Continue on Zoom During COVID Pandemic

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The Joint Commision announced today that they are planning to continue regularly scheduled inspections of hospitals during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. Experts at the...

Colossal coronavirus about to devour New York City

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NEW YORK, NY - Currently billions and billions of virus-sized Godzillas are wreaking havoc on New York. The coronavirus is speading like wildfire. Now...

CDC: Test Kits Are Low, Critically Ill & Famous People Only

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released new guidelines today to to help ration COVID-19 testing kits. They now ask to refrain from testing for...

Easter Bunny Tests Positive for Coronavirus

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BUNNY LANE - So much for getting the United States up and running by April 12: our beloved Easter Bunny has contracted coronavirus, Gomerblog...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

COVID-19: CDC Recommends Not Listening to CDC Recommendations

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ATLANTA, GA - After receiving harsh criticism for its recommendation to resort to scarves and bandanas when facemasks are no longer available, the Centers...

CDC decides to put all of New York on a ventilator

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NYC, New York - The recent coronavirus outbreak has devastated New York City to say the least. Their infection rate almost out numbers the...

Breaking: Earth’s Inner Core Tests Positive for Coronavirus

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LONDON, ENGLAND - Earth's inner core has tested positive for the novel coronavirus, Gomerblog reports. This is grave news for those holding hope that coronavirus...

Dr. Fauci Implores We All Watch Bob Ross on Infinite Loop Immediately

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Addressing a restless and concerned American public over COVID-19, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious...

BREAKING: New York City Resident Tests Negative for COVID-19

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“I’ve run 753 tests for COVID-10 this week alone and this man’s test was the first negative I’ve seen. I was nearly certain that everyone in Manhattan had Coronavirus.” Dr. Corbin explained.
polypharmacy

Primary Care Docs Happily Handing Out Z-Pak Prescriptions to Coronavirus Patient

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CHICAGO, IL—Citing decades’ worth of experience using the drug to treat all types of viral respiratory infections, the nation’s primary care physicians (PCPs) are...