Internal Medicine

hospital ceo salary

CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case.  A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...
dyspnea

FDA Approves FUROSESONEROLAQUINOX for Undifferentiated Dyspnea

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - To the delight of emergency physicians across the country, the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a new drug...
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Medical Science Catching Up to Fad Diets in New Exciting Breakthrough

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PORTLAND, OR - In what is being called one of the greatest breakthroughs in modern medicine, scientists at Hood River University have discovered a...

Ebola Now Airborne, Nation Prepares

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ATLANTA, GA - Ebola, the most deadly disease known to man, was confirmed to be airborne by the CDC after an extensive investigation of...
cdc

CDC Official: I Want You to Think Really Hard as You Personally Battle Ebola

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Hi.  I work for the CDC and I was assigned to your case I traveled from Atlanta as soon as I heard the news....

CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything

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WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the infection by Ebola of Nurse Nina Pham, who had cared for the first victim of that...

Texas Ebola Doctor: ‘Nurse, I’ll Be Right Behind You’

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DALLAS, TX - Reports are coming in that during the care of the Liberian Ebola victim, the lead physician told his nurse: "Let's go into...
patient satisfaction

Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project

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RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital...
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ACGME to Drop Boards Testing in Favor of NFL-esque Skills Combine

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WASHINGTON, DC - The ACGME made a ground-breaking decision last week to stop their decades long practice of medical boards testing.  Instead, all 4th-year medical students...

Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies

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VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies,...