Incredibly Narcissistic Patient with Dementia Remains Oriented Only to Self
In what can only be described as a sickening display of pure narcissism, Gertrude Walters, an 82 year-old woman with advanced dementia, has remained oriented only to herself for the third hospital day in...
Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin
A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019.
“Apparently it didn’t get the memo,” said the leader of the colony. “This...
Bugs Bugs Baby
Med student on the mic!
Let’s rock this DDx
Bugs bugs, baby
Bugs bugs, baby
All right stop
Collaborate and listen
I’m back, y’all MD’s be tripping
Time to put this fever in remission
Like a boss
Not quite, like a scientist-physician
As for...
“Study: Antibiotics improve satisfaction scores among patients with viral illnesses”
NORWALK, OH – A 10-year, multisite study was published Monday in the Journal of Urgent Care Medicine (JUCM) that may change the way infectious diseases are treated in the US. The study, which was...
Manhattan Clam Chowder Mistaken For Bloody Emesis
New York, NY- In a case of understandable confusion, a bowl of uneaten Manhattan Clam Chowder was mistaken for bloody emesis at Columbia University Hospital today.
General Surgery intern Toomani Hashtagues walked into the room...
Hipster Pulmonologist replaces Pulmonary Toilet with Pulmonary Bidet
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania— A local Pulm-Crit PGY4 said he will “never go back to traditional pulmonary toileting” after trying pulmonary bidet.
As he excitedly and repeatedly told his co-residents, pulmonary bidet provides better postural drainage and...
Medtronic, Blueface Promote New Thrombolysis System Clotiana
DUBLIN, IRELAND: In a recent press release, Medtronic has announced its promotional partnership with Los Angeles-based rapper, Blueface, to market its new thrombolysis system Clotiana.
“With the advent of the categorical IR residency, Medtronic wants...
Watching Cable News Raises Blood Pressure Better than Levophed, Study Finds
It is common knowledge that watching your Grandpa getting riled up night after night watching cable news opinion hosts rant and rave about their grievances of the day is bad for one’s blood pressure....
Dilaumorfentanylocet approved for 11/10 pain and above
In an exciting development for doctors and nurses around the country, FDA has approved a powerful new drug for treatment of resistant pain, defined as pain of 11 and above on the scale of...
Intern gazes into view of the galaxies in Epic home screen, ponders meaning of...
Chicago, IL - While turning to the computer to place orders on ICU rounds, intern Dr. Exy Stential never made it past the log-in screen. His eyes fell upon the view of the cosmos,...