Internal Medicine

elderly lady

Incredibly Narcissistic Patient with Dementia Remains Oriented Only to Self

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In what can only be described as a sickening display of pure narcissism, Gertrude Walters, an 82 year-old woman with advanced dementia, has remained...
staph staff

Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin

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A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019. “Apparently it didn’t...

Bugs Bugs Baby

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Med student on the mic! Let’s rock this DDx Bugs bugs, baby Bugs bugs, baby All right stop Collaborate and listen I’m back, y’all MD’s be tripping Time to put this...
common cold

“Study: Antibiotics improve satisfaction scores among patients with viral illnesses”

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NORWALK, OH – A 10-year, multisite study was published Monday in the Journal of Urgent Care Medicine (JUCM) that may change the way infectious...

Manhattan Clam Chowder Mistaken For Bloody Emesis

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New York, NY- In a case of understandable confusion, a bowl of uneaten Manhattan Clam Chowder was mistaken for bloody emesis at Columbia University...
hipster beard super bacteria

Hipster Pulmonologist replaces Pulmonary Toilet with Pulmonary Bidet

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania— A local Pulm-Crit PGY4 said he will “never go back to traditional pulmonary toileting” after trying pulmonary bidet. As he excitedly and repeatedly...

Medtronic, Blueface Promote New Thrombolysis System Clotiana

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DUBLIN, IRELAND: In a recent press release, Medtronic has announced its promotional partnership with Los Angeles-based rapper, Blueface, to market its new thrombolysis system...
hypertension guidelines

Watching Cable News Raises Blood Pressure Better than Levophed, Study Finds

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It is common knowledge that watching your Grandpa getting riled up night after night watching cable news opinion hosts rant and rave about their...
pills

Dilaumorfentanylocet approved for 11/10 pain and above

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In an exciting development for doctors and nurses around the country, FDA has approved a powerful new drug for treatment of resistant pain, defined...

Intern gazes into view of the galaxies in Epic home screen, ponders meaning of...

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Chicago, IL - While turning to the computer to place orders on ICU rounds, intern Dr. Exy Stential never made it past the log-in...