NEJM Bombshell: Sucks being the last admission of the night shift.
In what should not be a surprise to anyone, the New England Journal of Medicine published a study confirming that patients admitted at the tail end of the night shift have lower diagnostic accuracy,...
Pulmonologist Says Sucking Out Mucous Plugs is What He Lives For
BOSTON, MA - It's a rainy day. It's cold out. Dr. Bailey Corgan, a pulmonologist at Massachusetts Specific Hospital (MSH), is drenched and freezing because he forgot his umbrella. But, as...
Not Impressed: Cards Downgrades A-Fib to B-Minus
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Completely unimpressed by his patient's routine ECG this morning, cardiologist Paul Framingham has formally downgraded the diagnosis from an A-fib to B-minus.
"It's not that it's bad fib, it's just that...
Excitement of Black Hole Image Tempered by Concerns Over Galactic Coronary Artery Disease
Last month the first images of a black hole were released to the public. Early excitement was quickly tempered by concerns from a group of cardiologists. “While this signifies an enormous achievement in...
Landmark Study: Fortnite Superior to Dilaudid in Teenage Males
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY - A groundbreaking new study conducted by CHOP (Children’s Hospital of Poughkeepsie) found that teenage males preferred access to the popular video game “Fortnite” over opioid analgesics for the management of acute...
Intrepid Med-Peds Explorers Set Out to Search for Rumored Med-Peds Hospitalist Jobs
YUKON TERRITORY, CANADA - Dispatches from the frozen north today report that a group of 40 brave Med-Peds physicians have set out into the Yukon territory in search for fabled Med-Peds Hospitalist jobs.
For many...
Impassable EMR Alert Demands Flu Shot For Deceased Patient
A best practice alert, recently programmed by a highly competent collaboration between non-clinical quality and IT personnel, popped up today when Beth, RN was trying to write a quick note about post-mortem care on...
ICU Hires Wardrobe Consultants to Help With Donning and Doffing of Contact Gowns, Compliance...
WEST JERSEY, UK - Around 90% of the patients in the ICU's at West Jersey Regional Medical Center were on contact precautions last fiscal year, but adherence to the strict isolation policy was far...
Breaking: Patient is a Rich Historian, Perhaps the Best Historian Ever
PORTLAND, OR - In what is certainly a breath of fresh air, an ER physician was pleasantly surprised to discover that her patient wasn't a poor historian; in fact, she was a very rich...
Ode to Thyroid: Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride
Listen
I have to confess
I have not been appreciative of you
You give and you give and you give
But you also know when to pull back
You keep me from being a fat tired constipated mess
You don’t...