Internal Medicine

airplane

Pilot Makes Passengers NPO After Midnight for Flight Tomorrow

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ATLANTA, GA - In an effort to minimize the risk of aspiration during tomorrow's three-hour East coast flight from Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport to Boston's Logan International Airport, JetBlue Pilot Mickey Albright has made all 189...

Breaking: Wandering Atrial Pacemaker Gets a New Home

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The American Journal of Borderline Interesting Cardiology published today that a wandering atrial pacemaker has finally been settled in a permanent location. Dr. Amy Oderorone, project leader commented: "While not a serious medical condition,...
colonoscopy

Gastroenterologists Recommend Daily Screening Colonoscopy

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BETHESDA, MD - In an effort to improve colorectal cancer screening in the United States, where it is the second leading cause of cancer death, the American College of Gastroenterology (ACG) is ramping things...
Super Bowl party AMA Dilaudid

What, No Dilaudid?! Guests Leave Super Bowl Party AMA

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ATLANTA, GA - Stating that the party spread of salads, sandwiches, guacamole, cheese and pepperoni pizza, wings, burgers, hot dogs, and fried chicken simply isn't enough, thousands of guests in the Atlanta area have...

Nasty JellyBean – Hospital Edition

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The makers of the popular game Nasty Jellybean have a new healthcare edition divertissement coming to a store near you, just in time for the holidays! Nasty Jellybean boasts itself as a dare game,...

RN Too Terrified of N95 Fit Testing Instructor to Admit Tasting Bitter Spray

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COMMUNITY HOSPITAL - RN Maria did not speak up when her N95 mask didn’t fit properly due to feeling intimidated by her instructor, Cara, thereby forfeiting her one annual chance to learn how to correctly...
honest patient

Thyroid Diagnosis Remains Elusive Despite Long List of Nonspecific Symptoms

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CINCINNATI, OH - Ohio resident Tracy Murphy is preparing to seek a third medical opinion about her thyroid condition that remains undiagnosed. “It all started about a year ago” reports Mrs. Murphy. “I told my...
mars essential oils

MRSA Colonizes Mars

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In a joint conference, CDC and NASA delivered a striking blow to human ambition and ingenuity, announcing that MRSA has officially colonized Mars.  Defeating the dreams of such forward thinkers as Elon Musk and...
feeding tube

Resident Tries G-Tube Feeds: ‘Really Not That Bad’

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NEW YORK, NY – In a move sure to garner mixed reactions from colleagues and staff, second-year internal medicine resident Jon Paniagua opened a 1 Liter bag of Isosource 1.5, poured himself a glass,...
gastroenterologist

Overzealous Gastroenterologist Accidentally Invents Esophagocolonoscopy

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WINSTON-SALEM, NC - A young Gastroenterologist and his team made history last week when what was supposed to be a standard endoscopic exam turned into a brave push towards the unexplored frontiers of medical...