Inevitable Really: Batman Diagnosed with Histoplasmosis
GOTHAM CITY - Saying that it is pretty remarkable that he even went this long without catching it, doctors at Gotham City Medical Center...
Mix-Up Gives Alcoholic Patient Banana Bread, Not Banana Bag
MARIETTA, GA - An inpatient pharmacy mix-up has led to a patient with alcohol withdrawal accidentally receiving banana bread instead of a banana bag,...
Doctor Returns Borrowed Pen
On rounds today in the surgical ICU, a heretofore-unseen humanitarian act was performed: an attending physician borrowed a pen from the medical student, then...
Medical Center Repurposes Hospital Clowns to Act as Clinical Exam Chaperones
In an attempt to adjust to the diminishing enthusiasm of sick children for clowns, a small hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has begun repurposing its...
New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination
DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the...
Specialist Comes Clean, Reports Maybe 40% of All Consults Were Actually Interesting
In a stunning revelation this week, cardiologist Dr. Jeff Dykes estimates that despite writing “Thank you for the interesting consult” on all of his...
In Drastic Cost-Cutting Measure, Local Hospital Restricts Use of Albumin in Landscaping
To help meet financial goals for the upcoming fiscal year, University Hospital administrators voted to implement draconian restriction criteria for the use of albumin...
NEJM: Acupuncture Finally Proven Beneficial by Using 14G for Respiratory Distress After Trauma
Eastern medicine has long touted the benefits of acupuncture but, until now, studies have been equivocal. In a new study published by the NEJM...
Patient Suffers “Partial” Cardiac Arrest
BOSTON, MA—After years of seeing patients who were reported in the news media to have been found in “full cardiac arrest,” emergency physicians at...
An Internist’s Guide to STAT Overnight Pages
At 7:30pm: So what’s the discharge plan for this patient?
Follow up: Remind the nurse that you’re the overnight resident and haven’t been attending case...