Internal Medicine

New Research Shows That Anti-Vax Housewives Were Right All Along!

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MARIN COUNTY, CA - Tiffany Davis was relieved today when she heard from her friend Courtney Brown at their children’s Gymboree class that Courtney had heard from Lindsay who heard from Kelsey that an...
tigges

Dr. Gary Tigges Blames Ambien for ‘Female Physicians Don’t Work as Hard as Male...

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DALLAS, TX - Dr. Gary Tigges sure did get himself into a hot mess this week after the Dallas Medical Journal published a comment from Dr. Tigges where he stated, “Female physicians do not...

Interventional Radiologist Uses Dental Floss, Chewing Gum to Fix Broken Pipe in Kitchen Sink

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NEW YORK, NY - Newly-minted interventional radiology attending Dr. Marcus Jones scored a personal victory today when he successfully mended a leaking pipe leading to his kitchen sink using only dental floss and chewing...
hospital credentialing

Patient Tips for a Pleasant Stay at Your Local Hospital

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When it comes to your medical care, you have a lot of choices. At the world-renowned Ivory Tower Medical Center, we want your experience to be top-notch and lead you to never want to...

MICU Secretary Promotes Staff Unity by Yelling ‘KILLING SPREE’ Every 5 Deaths

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Day 7 intern year, and you already hate the MICU. There are 22 patients on your service, you know none of them, they're all septic, and your greatest accomplishment to date has been teaching the...
colonoscopy

Countdown of the Top 10 Things Found in the Rectum

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In a style similar to family feud, we surveyed people who like to shove things in places, and also the surgeons who need to remove them, to try and come up with a top...
mechanical ventilator

Night Shift Enjoys New Ventilator Mode

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GOLETA, CA - Puritan Bennett's new ventilator mode is a hit with the Bay Harbor Hospital night shift. Along with the standard AC, SIMV, CPAP, APRV and MVV modes, their newest offering, the PB-1001,...
ticks as phlebotomist

Ticks to Assist Phlebotomists With Patients Who Are Tough IV Sticks

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There are many examples of animal helpers in healthcare. Examples range from assistance dogs to even modern day leeches that provide anti-coagulation to surgical wounds and maggots used to debride necrotic tissue. Now, one...
signed off sign off

“New Intern” Added to Patient’s Problem List

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Joining the ranks of “Congestive Heart Failure,” “Chronic Kidney Disease III,” and “Mood Disorder (Unspecified),” local patient Summer Days’ inpatient active problem list has expanded to include “New Intern” as well now that fresh...

Which Is It, Post-Op Day #0 or Hospital Day #1? Medical Numbers Convention Kicks...

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CHICAGO, IL – In an effort to standardize inconsistencies that have confused health care workers for years, the first-ever Convention on Medical Numbering Conventions convened in Chicago last week. Convention organizers were thrilled to...