Saturday, May 4, 2024

Internal Medicine

dilaudid graph

Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much

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BOSTON, MA - As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine elucidated the seemingly perfect linear relationship with Dilaudid administration and...
worst patient

10 Reasons Why You Are the Worst Patient Ever

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Want to know why no nurse or physician or other health care provider wants to come into your room and take care of you?  Here are 10 reasons why you are the worst patient...
Olympics

STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village

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SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there.  Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad to report that there are now numerous outbreaks of sexually...
ER

Goop from ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid

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DALLAS, TX - In an amazing breakthrough for science, a new life form has spontaneously willed itself into existence in the break room of a local emergency room (ER).  Not only this, but despite its...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or previously called JACHO, but don't EVER call them that now...
wine pairs

Tips: What Wine Pairs Well with Patients & Helps Me Cope with Them?

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We’ve all been there.  You’re at bedside with your patient and you find yourself stumped on which wine you should drink to best pair with him or her.  You may be stressed and simply...
Fibro storm

Internal Medicine Resident Calls Rheumatology Fellow In at 2:00 AM for Fibromyalgia Patient “Fibro...

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KANSAS CITY, KS - “I was just tired of dealing with her,” internal medicine resident Dr. Kara Gifford said.  “She is allergic to every pain medication except Dilaudid; in fact she has 15 allergies!” It was...
radiologist reading

Radiologist Recommends Against Clinical Correlation

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Radiologist Dr. Rachel Mondusa, while reading an abdominal CT scan, actually recommended against clinical correlation.  A standard dictation line stated at the end of reports taught to all radiology residents in...