Under Fire, Wonder Woman Uses Her Indestructible Bracelets to Deflect ER Admissions Left &...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman has been under siege by emergency room personnel at Amazonian Medical Center, but doesn't seem fazed as her Bracelets of Submission deflect all of the ER admissions left and right,...
Nick Saban Okays IV Benadryl to Treat Tonight’s Healthy Scratches
TUSCALOOSA, AL - Giving the official blessing and go-ahead to his University of Alabama sports medicine staff, Nick Saban has okayed the use of IV Benadryl (diphenhydramine) to help treat several of his players...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the National Academy of Medicine (NAM; formerly known as the Institute...
CVS to Limit Opioid Prescription Length to 7 Days, Unless You Say “Pretty Please?!”...
WOONSOCKET, RI - Stepping up to the plate to help combat the ongoing opioid epidemic, CVS Pharmacy has adopted a new opioid policy that will limit opioid prescriptions to 7 days and prioritize the...
Flonass: Flonase’s Sister Spray for Anal Sniffles
LONDON, ENGLAND - When the season's change - either from winter to spring or from summer to fall - we often focus on runny nose, congestion, and watery eyes. But what about those of...
Medical Professions as NFL Teams
Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.
Orthopaedics are the Dallas Cowboys: biggest fanciest toys inside the OR and out....
How Ironic: Entire Palliative Care Team is Full Code
ST. LOUIS, MO - Palliative care, as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is "an approach that improves the quality of life of patients and their families... affirms life and regards dying as...
It’s About Damn Time: Cup of Coffee Awarded Nobel Prize in Medicine
NEW YORK, NY - There was a big surprise earlier this week when a cup of coffee was announced as the winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize in Medicine. This is the caffeinated beverage’s first...
Hospital Replaces Graham Crackers with Cardboard, Nobody Notices
SAVANNAH, GA - In a new initiative to cut costs, Coastal Hospital CEO Will Slash revealed he swapped out baked cardboard for graham crackers nearly a year ago, and has so far not heard...
Emergency Room Switch to Single-Ply Toilet Paper Reduces Unnecessary Gastro Admissions by 60%
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - A major tertiary emergency department in Melbourne recently conducted a trial of single-ply toilet paper across all bathrooms and found a 45% reduction in overnight stays of gastro patients and a...