Nurse Assigned to Shake Empty Toner Cartridge Every 5 Minutes
LOUISVILLE, KY - As punishment for not charting a respiratory rate other than 16, first-year nurse Randy Tolbert has been relegated from patient care to standing by the printer at the nurses station and...
Entire OR Team Kneels During Timeout to Protest Administrators
GREEN BAY, WI - In a stunning turn of events, entire OR teams including Anesthesia kneeled today during all surgical timeouts today at Bellin Hospital. The shocking display of unity against the hospital administrators...
MD Aware: Intern Disputes His Actually Being “Aware” in RN Note
CINCINNATI, OH - Emdee Awahray, an intern covering the general medicine floor overnight, has disputed the claim made by an RN in her overnight documentation note. The RN, who wished not to be identified,...
Pumpkin Wishing It Didn’t Turn Down the Gardasil Vaccine
PUMPKIN PATCH - Local pumpkin really wishing it didn't turn down a Gardasil shot this year. "I have all these bumps all over myself," the pumpkin told reporters. "What a big mistake to think...
Donald Trump’s Orange Complexion Due To ChloraPrep From Last Plastic Surgery
WASHINGTON, D.C - The U.S. Surgeon General accidentally revealed in a recent interview that President Trump’s skin tone is actually a normal shade of Caucasian. The orange hue of his face is actually due...
After Successful Renovation, New Call Room is Now Optimized to Cause Full-On Depression
JACKSONVILLE, FL - Convinced that being on-call isn't difficult enough in its own right, hospital administrators at Jacksonville Medical Center have successfully completed renovation of its call room such that is "as devoid of hope as ever"...
Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her at this very moment that today is actually Thursday not...
Prima Donna Surgeon Can’t be Bothered to Dress Self
AUGUSTA, GA – Saying they are “sick and tired” of waiting on surgeons hand and foot (mostly hands), operating room nurses at nearby Mercy hospital are threatening to leave if changes aren’t made. “This...
Former United Security Guard Landed on Feet as Nurse-Assaulting Cop
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - Former United Security Guard and all-around jerk-face Jeff Payne was very concerned he wouldn't be able to find employment after all the bad publicity he got when he knocked out...
Nurse Adds Kryptonite to Superman’s Allergy List
METROPOLIS, US - During an initial evaluation at Metropolis Medical Center (MMC) where the Man of Steel Superman presented to the emergency room with generalized weakness, ER nurse Bethany Richardson astutely concluded that the frequent...