Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General
WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak, MD, MPH, would be replaced by a 15-year veteran surgical...
Medical Team Confused as Patient Made DNR Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Members of a multidisciplinary inpatient team at Tulane University left a family meeting this morning scratching their heads, as they honored their patient and family’s unusual wish to make the...
NCLEX Test Writers Admit to Picking Esoteric and Outlandish Questions
TALLAHASSEE, FL - “Complete frustration” were frequent comments thrown around by recent test takers of the National Council Licensure Examination (NCLEX), hoping to obtain nursing licensure.
"The test was complete bullcrap!" spewed Kerry Weathers. "I took review...
Joint Commission Mandates Extensive Timeout Prior to Initiating CPR
SAN ANTONIO, TX - Citing the shocking incidence of "never event" wrong-sided CPR (commonly known as WroSC), the Joint Commission issued new guidelines today mandating a 42-step timeout prior to the initiation of CPR...
Second Semester Nursing Student Educates Staff Nurses on How to Properly Do Their Job
HARTFORD, CT – Second semester nursing student, Emily Rothenberg, thoroughly enjoys instructing her fellow staff nurses on how to properly do their jobs.
"Oh, one of my favorite parts of nursing school involves teaching nurses...
Pain Clinic Unveils New ‘Methadrone’ Delivery
TALLAHASSEE, FL - A new cutting-edge system for delivery of maintenance narcotics was unveiled in the Florida panhandle last month, as Our Lady of the Weeping Buttock Abscess Hospital (OLWBAH) in Tallahassee introduced a drug delivery...
Operating Room from the 70s Shutting Down, ‘Difficult to Clean’
NEW YORK, NY – Disco isn’t dead, yet. One of the last remaining icons of the great disco movement in NYC still remains in St. Jude’s Operating Room #4.
“This OR was and still is the grooviest...
Hospitals Now Offering Official Sponsorship
DENVER, CO - Historically hospitals have struggled to stay afloat, and have strived to maintain adequate staffing. Looking for answers, hospital administrators of St. Mary’s Hospital just had to look anywhere for funds.
"I was attending a...
Hospital Enacts New Mandatory Happy Hour for Employees
BOSTON, MA - "Go figure out the best way to improve patient safety and medical care at our hospital," was the charge that CEO of Memorial Hospital, Dr. Gina Stockdale, posed to her panel members....
Pneumatic Tube System for Patient Transport a Huge Success
ROCHESTER, MN - One month into its experimental trial run, the Mayo Clinic made an announcement today that the implementation of a pneumatic tube system for patient transport has been achieved with great success.
Mayo...