Saturday, May 11, 2024

Nursing

blood products

Blood Bank to Require More Paperwork, First-Born Child to Release Blood Products

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GREENSBORO, NC - In an effort to cut down on costly blood product utilization, hospital administrators at Rocky High Hospital have put pressure on their blood bank to “regulate their blood products more efficiently.”...
doctor and patient

Doctors & Nurses Agree: Everyone Is a Poor Historian

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ATLANTA, GA - Frustrated because you can’t get the details you want from a patient?  Don’t worry, you’re not the only one.  A recent eye-opening poll held on the world-renowned medical website Facebook found...

Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy

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NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon.  Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating their pies on Thanksgiving Day where only the chosen are able...
happy hour for health care workers

Hospital Enacts New Mandatory Happy Hour for Employees

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BOSTON, MA - "Go figure out the best way to improve patient safety and medical care at our hospital," was the charge that CEO of Memorial Hospital, Dr. Gina Stockdale, posed to her panel members....

Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously

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CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy Hospital.  Administrators are informing GomerBlog that the changes to patient care...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the east coast after a recent FDA approval.  Typically when a...

Near Death Experience for Medical Student After Taking Chart During Change of Shift

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Richard Henning, a third-year medical student, has no idea how close he came to perishing at Memorial Hospital yesterday.  At approximately 7:04 a.m., Hennings interrupted a nursing change of shift report and took the medical...

Secret Location of Nurse Float Pool Discovered, Drained

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BREAKING NEWS - For years large hospitals have used nurse float pools - a team of nurses able to work in multiple specialties and units during shortages or call-offs.  Archeological evidence near the grave of...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Gastroenterologist Paged Record 35 Times While in Restroom

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KANSAS CITY, MO - In a stark development it has been reported that earlier this morning during a five-minute bathroom break, Dr. Timothy McFadden, a Gastroenterologist of Mount Sinai, was paged a record thirty-five times during...
Joint Commission scissors

Joint Commission Requires More Name Tag Bracelets for Sicker Patients

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PHOENIX, AZ - In an effort to improve patient safety, the Joint Commission (JC) has recommended that sicker ICU patients should have multiple nametag bracelets to help identify patients better.  Apparently, there is a growing trend...