Elderly Male Patient Enjoying Foley Catheter, Refuses Removal
SPANISH FORT, AL - South Hospital has taken a brave step to become latex free by 2016. The board voted to replace the soft, elastic, flexible urinary foley catheters with a latex-free alternative.
“I was worried by...
Mutated Pediatric Names Linked to Higher Mortality
ATLANTA, GA - The lead article in this month’s Journal of Pediatric Critical Care started with a few simple observations.
"I had two patients in my ICU simultaneously," said lead author Dr. Jessica Kantor. "Both...
Inventor of Call Light Enjoying the 9th Ring of Hell
9TH RING, HELL – Johnathon Knochasilver, known for his famous invention The Call Light, passed away last year from ironically not being able to call for help when he was choking on his hospital...
ICU Transfer Arrives with Hospital Summary on a Napkin
SALT LAKE CITY, UT - An 83-year-old man was transferred to the University Hospital Critical Care Unit from an outside hospital on Tuesday, with a small napkin describing relevant aspects of his 14-day course.
The ICU...
Hospital Builds $100M Gorgeous Atrium Expansion, Nurse Bonuses Cut
CLEVELAND, OH – Mercy Hospital has just completed a new addition to their hospital: a grandiose beautiful atrium. This new expansion is "a beautiful and glorious addition to our fine institution."
The new atrium has spared...
New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts
ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts, instincts, and motivations, and promises to do so with superior...
Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA
JACKSONVILLE, FL – Michael Redmond - a patient so regular to St. Joseph Hospital’s ER that if he doesn’t show up for a couple days, the staff gets worried that he may be actually sick...
Healthy Ambulating Male Continues to Ask Nurses for Urinal
ATTLEBORO, MA - A very upset Ronald Stern is suing Sturdy Memorial Hospital for the pain and suffering he experienced when his nurse asked him to empty his own urinal. The 50-year-old Stern was...
Report: Nurse’s Candy Drawer, Only Chocolate Laffy Taffy and Dum Dums Left
CARDIAC FLOOR - Reports around the hospital are the nurse’s candy drawer on the cardiac floor has run cold.
"You mean to tell me I started rounds on the 7th floor only to have the drawer picked...
Hospital Workers Can’t Think of Any Other Place They’d Rather Be on Thanksgiving Day
EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital workers eagerly awoke this morning, ready and energized to take on another thrilling work day at their local hospitals. The fact that today is Thanksgiving had no effect on most people's baseline excitement to get up and...