Tuesday, July 7, 2020


doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings found that charting and documentation in an...

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy, the paper’s sole author, stated after reviewing the data that...
cave drawings

Archeologists Discover Cave Drawings of Pitocin Infusion on Postpartum Woman

GIF KEBIR, LIBYA - Researchers from Indiana university announced an important finding in caves outside of Gif Kebir, Libya yesterday.  According to an Indiana University press release, a cave drawing estimated to be 35,000 years...
Trojan condom

It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists

NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan has introduced a new line of bulletproof condoms that not...

Victoria’s Secret to Team Up with Maternity Ward to In New Line of Post-Partum...

A lullaby plays gently over the speakers. “That’s our way of letting everyone know a new bundle of joy has entered the world,” the tour guide tells the small group of expectant parents as they...

Medical Specialties as Disney Characters

Anesthesia - Rafiki from The Lion King. Most of the rest of us have no clue what the hell you are doing with all the beeps and knobs and when we look it never...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the National Academy of Medicine (NAM; formerly known as the Institute...

Medical Professions as NFL Teams

Anesthesia is the Cincinnati Bengals: no one knows anyone on the team; they rotate so often it’s not worth learning names anyway.   Orthopaedics are the Dallas Cowboys: biggest fanciest toys inside the OR and out....
bouncy house

So You’re Paged While in a Bouncy House, What to Do Next

There you are, jumping around happily in a bouncy house when the unthinkable happens: you get paged.  Well, maybe not unthinkable since you are on-call after all.  But shoot!  You're having so much fun,...

Pumpkin Wishing It Didn’t Turn Down the Gardasil Vaccine

PUMPKIN PATCH - Local pumpkin really wishing it didn't turn down a Gardasil shot this year. "I have all these bumps all over myself," the pumpkin told reporters. "What a big mistake to think...