Fertilized Hipster Egg Decides Uterus “Just Not My Style,” Moves to Abdomen
ABDOMEN, FEMALE PATIENT – Yesterday, a recently-fertilized hipster egg decided that the uterus "just wasn’t my style" and it squeaked out towards the abdomen to find a better place to settle down.
"Yeah, the uterus is just so cliché,...
Describe This Pencil by Medical Specialty
Your specialty of choice fosters a certain way of doing things. We polled residents from several different specialties and asked them to describe this pencil.
Family Medicine: I’m already behind on my descriptions for four...
BREAKING: Ortho resident performs first uterine open reduction internal fixation
PHILADELPHIA, PA: Orthopedic surgery resident Rob Abington was recently recognized by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons for performing the first open reduction with internal fixation of a uterus.
The patient was a 76-year-old woman...
Proposition 46 in California Designed by Inebriated Trial Lawyers, Sparks Proposition 47 and 48
SACRAMENTO, CA - A ferocious yearlong battle over Proposition 46 will be decided in California at the polls this upcoming November. Proposition 46 includes proposals to drug test physicians, to raise caps on medical malpractice...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of their latest controversy where a flight attendant wouldn't believe a female African-American...
April Fools’ Day Jokes to Play at the Hospital
Top April Fools’ jokes to play at the hospital. It isn't too late to try and pull off that sweet joke at work.
Anesthesia – After giving your coworker a morning break during a prone IV...
Woman Enjoys “Natural Birth,” Streams Over FaceTime
HIGHLAND PARK, OH – Janet Freech, a 38-year-old parturient, wrote in her birth plan that her goal was to deliver "completely natural." In the plan she specifically refused all available modern medical interventions in order to balance nature's natural...
Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room. She refuses to wear scrubs, a scrub cap, surgical mask mask, or...
Ben & Jerry’s Opens Women’s Health Clinic, Offers “Free Cone Biopsy Day”
SOUTH BURLINGTON, VT—The line outside the new Ben & Jerry’s Women’s Health Clinic extended for at least 3 miles as people waited for the clinic to open its doors for the first time earlier...
NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK
NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES IN CAPS LOCK. ADMINISTRATION HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO RELIEVE...