Fertilized Hipster Egg Decides Uterus “Just Not My Style,” Moves to Abdomen
ABDOMEN, FEMALE PATIENT – Yesterday, a recently-fertilized hipster egg decided that the uterus "just wasn’t my style" and it squeaked out towards the abdomen to find a better...
Expectant Fathers Neglected No More: Hospital Opens Much-Anticipated Paternity Ward
BOCA RATON, FL—“Push, push, push!” yelled the hospital staff at a patient who was intensely laboring. But surprisingly, this scene was not taking place...
Field Guide To The Exotic Birds of Labor & Delivery
The Double FOB: who has two women on the floor pregnant at the same time
The Lurker: TOLAC with a four-page birth plan who wants...
Medical Center Repurposes Hospital Clowns to Act as Clinical Exam Chaperones
In an attempt to adjust to the diminishing enthusiasm of sick children for clowns, a small hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has begun repurposing its...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published...
Maternity Wards Stockpile Billions of Diapers to Prepare for Onslaught of Pandemic Babies
NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Queen Elizabeth Gets IUD Removed, Ready to Have Another Royal Baby
LONDON, ENGLAND – Sources close to the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, say the Queen is ready to have another royal baby. She has...
Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name
PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!" Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor. ...
North Korea Agrees to Sync Menstrual Periods with South Korea in Display of Unity
KOREAN PENINSULA - In a display of unity, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un has agreed to change his country's menstrual periods so that...