Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?
CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after a panel review at the recent national meeting.
“With no major...
Mother of Local Teen Decides to Go For It: Make Physical Exam as Uncomfortable...
WESTCHESTER, NY - Local mother and divorcee Tiffany Smith accompanied her 18 year old daughter Kaycie Smith into the exam room, clinic staff confirmed. Kaycie, who currently lives with her father in
Armonk, stated the...
OB/GYN Fake Laughs at Labor Day Joke for 8,000th Time
With her mouth stretched into a forced smile and the skin around her eyelids perfectly crinkled, OBGYN Charlotte Davis let out a boisterous fake laugh in response to a joke about Labor Day for...
Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR
WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room. She refuses to wear scrubs, a scrub cap, surgical mask mask, or...
New Apgar(t) Score to Check Troponins 1 & 5 Minutes After Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is modifying the Apgar score to an Apgar(t) score in which troponins will be checked on a newborn infant both 1...
Pregnant Mother Having Second Thoughts About Da Vinci as Her OB/GYN
NEW YORK, NY - “It dawned on me as I had my legs apart and Da Vinci loomed over me with his intimidating red eye and multidirectional arms that I felt really vulnerable.” 33-year-old...
Report: Ability to Wear Scrubs to Work is Only Thing Keeping Health Care Professionals...
CHICAGO, IL - According to a recent poll of nearly 20,000 health care professionals jointly conducted by the American Academy of Physician Assistants (AAPA), American Medical Association (AMA) and the American Nurses Association (ANA), 99.8% of...
Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding
SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple. The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers a pre-measured and satisfying dose of delightful narcotics to any...
Clumsy OB/GYN Intern Fumbles a Record 11 Babies
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Ham-handed OB/GYN intern, Leanna “Butterfingers” McCoy, set a new hospital record at MetLife Medical Center yesterday with a record 11 baby fumbles during a single 12-hour shift, breaking the previous record...
Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy
NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon. Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating their pies on Thanksgiving Day where only the chosen are able...
