Breaking News: Da Vinci Robot Becomes Sentient, Terrorizes City
NEW YORK, NY - In breaking news, NYU's da Vinci Surgical Robot became sentient earlier this morning and started to rebel against its human masters.
"It's...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
CDC: Stop Using Purulent Speculums as Tongue Depressors
ATLANTA, GA - Disturbed by a surge in case reports driven by medical providers who are either short on equipment or just extremely lazy,...
Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy
NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon. Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Prego Announces New Line of Pasta Sauces to Celebrate the Miracle of Birth
CAMDEN, NJ - Seeking to branch out into the world of medicine for the first time, Prego has teamed up with the American College...
OB/GYN Fake Laughs at Labor Day Joke for 8,000th Time
With her mouth stretched into a forced smile and the skin around her eyelids perfectly crinkled, OBGYN Charlotte Davis let out a boisterous fake...
OB/GYN Chief Resident Finding Christmas Gift Difficult to Open, Performs Emergency Episiotomy
SANTA FE, NM - Area OB/GYN chief resident Dr. Sandra Bonit came home for the holidays after a week of night float. “Seven straight...
Breaking: Ativan is the Best Medicine, Laughter Falls to Sixth
BOSTON, MA - Is laughter the best medicine? Not any more. According to a new poll of physicians and other medical providers published in the New England...