27-Page Birth Plan Even Includes a Zombie Apocalypse Clause
CLEVELAND, OH – Heather Briggins, from Parma Heights, recently was admitted to St. Joe’s in labor at 39 weeks. She quickly handed her 3-ring-bound birth-plan book to staff.
"Glitter...
OB/GYN with Tiny Fingers Has Zero Idea What a Cervix Feels Like
TUCSON, AZ - A retiring obstetrician, who has requested to remain anonymous for this piece, recently issued a public statement of admission. Presumably to...
Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean
Ad text
Actual meaning
Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital
The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...
Baby Finds His Umbilical Cord, Passes Out
UTERUS - Local uterine baby, Baby Dennis, told reporters yesterday he just found a long umbilical cord floating around his head.
"This long cord is just...
Rosetta Stone: OB/GYN Edition
ARLINGTON, VA - In an effort to boost sales, language software giant Rosetta Stone launches the first of a long line of medical language...
OB/GYNs Clarify That Five-Second Rule Does Not Apply to Babies
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a statement released earlier this week by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), the nation's leading obstetricians and...
FDA Approves Afternoon-After Pill
INTERCOURSE, PA - “Let’s face it: no one is getting up in the morning after an accident,” said a representative from the Food and Drug Administration...
Surgeon Performs In-Utero Tommy John Surgery
KANSAS CITY – A surgeon in Kansas City reports he has performed the world’s first in-utero Tommy John surgery. A hospital spokesperson states that the...
Maintenance of Certification Programs to Require Repeating Residency
WASHINGTON, D.C. - If there ever was a solid example of mission creep, Maintenance of Certification (MOC) programs for physicians have set a new standard. Overnight,...
ToRCHeS Mnemonic Unsure How to Handle New Zika Virus
For decades the ToRCHeS mnemonic (Toxoplasma, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus, HIV, Herpes, Syphilis) was the saving grace of every medical, nursing, biology, virology, pharmacology, zoology and frenology...