OB-GYN

Obstetrician Preferred to be Called ‘Vagician’

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TARNIHONNOK, MD - Local OB/GYN or self proclaimed vagician, Dr. Fredrick Schmidt, refuses to wear traditional scrubs in the delivery room.  He'll dim the lights,...
pregnancy

Obstetrics Department Announces Opening of New Geriatric Maternity Ward for Mothers Over 35

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BOCA RATON, FL—The proliferation of new fertility treatments, including in-vitro fertilization, and the decision by many women to delay parenthood in order to pursue...

Maternity Wards Stockpile Billions of Diapers to Prepare for Onslaught of Pandemic Babies

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NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have...
obstetrician

Field Guide To The Exotic Birds of Labor & Delivery

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The Double FOB: who has two women on the floor pregnant at the same time The Lurker: TOLAC with a four-page birth plan who wants...
water break water main break

Water Main Break in Pregnant Woman’s Amniotic Sac Causes Major Flooding

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DECATUR, GA - Flooding has closed East Ponce de Leon Avenue and Commerce Drive in downtown Decatur, overwhelming the neighborhood with several feet of amniotic...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

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EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
ultrasound

Surgeon Performs In-Utero Tommy John Surgery

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KANSAS CITY – A surgeon in Kansas City reports he has performed the world’s first in-utero Tommy John surgery. A hospital spokesperson states that the...

Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria

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ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday.  24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth...

Breaking News: Da Vinci Robot Becomes Sentient, Terrorizes City

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NEW YORK, NY - In breaking news, NYU's da Vinci Surgical Robot became sentient earlier this morning and started to rebel against its human masters. "It's...