Woman Enjoys “Natural Birth,” Streams Over FaceTime
HIGHLAND PARK, OH – Janet Freech, a 38-year-old parturient, wrote in her birth plan that her goal was to deliver "completely natural." In the plan she specifically refused all...
Queen Elizabeth Gets IUD Removed, Ready to Have Another Royal Baby
LONDON, ENGLAND – Sources close to the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, say the Queen is ready to have another royal baby. She has...
New Apgar(t) Score to Check Troponins 1 & 5 Minutes After Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) is modifying the Apgar score to an Apgar(t) score in which troponins will...
North Korea Agrees to Sync Menstrual Periods with South Korea in Display of Unity
KOREAN PENINSULA - In a display of unity, North Korean leader Kim Jung Un has agreed to change his country's menstrual periods so that...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State
2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state...
Prego Announces New Line of Pasta Sauces to Celebrate the Miracle of Birth
CAMDEN, NJ - Seeking to branch out into the world of medicine for the first time, Prego has teamed up with the American College...
Tips: How to Treat a Pager That Keeps Going Off Like It Has Seizures
Sadly, despite all the technological advances we've made, a good portion of health care professionals still carry an object as archaic and arguably less...
Fertilized Hipster Egg Decides Uterus “Just Not My Style,” Moves to Abdomen
ABDOMEN, FEMALE PATIENT – Yesterday, a recently-fertilized hipster egg decided that the uterus "just wasn’t my style" and it squeaked out towards the abdomen to find a better...
Breaking News: Da Vinci Robot Becomes Sentient, Terrorizes City
NEW YORK, NY - In breaking news, NYU's da Vinci Surgical Robot became sentient earlier this morning and started to rebel against its human masters.
"It's...