Medical Center Repurposes Hospital Clowns to Act as Clinical Exam Chaperones
In an attempt to adjust to the diminishing enthusiasm of sick children for clowns, a small hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has begun repurposing its...
Anesthesiologist Puts Up Drape, Puppet Show for Surgeons
NORFOLK, VA - Anesthesiologist Thomas Kingston was the hit of the OR today. Normally after induction and intubation, Kingston puts up the drape to...
Fertilized Hipster Egg Decides Uterus “Just Not My Style,” Moves to Abdomen
ABDOMEN, FEMALE PATIENT – Yesterday, a recently-fertilized hipster egg decided that the uterus "just wasn’t my style" and it squeaked out towards the abdomen to find a better...
Newborn Delivered at 35,000 Feet: A Doctor’s Perspective
SOMEWHERE OVER HOBOKEN, NJ – It’s amazing how there is always a doctor around when you need one. Hardly 200 miles into my flight...
Expectant Fathers Neglected No More: Hospital Opens Much-Anticipated Paternity Ward
BOCA RATON, FL—“Push, push, push!” yelled the hospital staff at a patient who was intensely laboring. But surprisingly, this scene was not taking place...
OB/GYN Fake Laughs at Labor Day Joke for 8,000th Time
With her mouth stretched into a forced smile and the skin around her eyelids perfectly crinkled, OBGYN Charlotte Davis let out a boisterous fake...
Urologist Cannot Find Ureter, Consults OB/GYN
Dr. Hans Veener, the chief of urology, could not identify the right ureter during a recent surgery at Marion General Hospital. Shockingly, rather than...
New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk
DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding. This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in...
Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria
ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday. 24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth...
Physician Foreplay 101: How to Seduce Your Doctor
Seduce any doctor by using valuable information about his or her specialty to ensure total success in the bedroom.
Emergency Medicine
Go skydiving to get the...