27-Page Birth Plan Even Includes a Zombie Apocalypse Clause
CLEVELAND, OH – Heather Briggins, from Parma Heights, recently was admitted to St. Joe’s in labor at 39 weeks. She quickly handed her 3-ring-bound birth-plan book to staff.
"Glitter...
Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes
EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced...
ToRCHeS Mnemonic Unsure How to Handle New Zika Virus
For decades the ToRCHeS mnemonic (Toxoplasma, Rubella, Cytomegalovirus, HIV, Herpes, Syphilis) was the saving grace of every medical, nursing, biology, virology, pharmacology, zoology and frenology...
Mother More Emotionally Attached to Instant Pot Than Newborn Baby
AUSTIN, TX - Gomerblog has learned that Jenna Barley, a first-time mother who gave birth to a beautiful young baby girl just two weeks...
It’s About Time: Trojan’s New Bulletproof Condoms to Protect Against STIs, Terrorists
NEW YORK, NY - Focusing 2017 research and development dollars on the final sentence of their tagline "Trojan. Pleasure you want. Protection You Trust.," Trojan...
NURSE SUSPENDED FOR WRITING NOTES IN CAPS LOCK
NORFOLK, VA - NURSE AMANDA HAN WAS SUSPENDED EARLY THIS MORNING BY HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SAME OFFENSE YET AGAIN: ALWAYS WRITING HER NOTES...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Urologist Cannot Find Ureter, Consults OB/GYN
Dr. Hans Veener, the chief of urology, could not identify the right ureter during a recent surgery at Marion General Hospital. Shockingly, rather than...
Rosetta Stone: OB/GYN Edition
ARLINGTON, VA - In an effort to boost sales, language software giant Rosetta Stone launches the first of a long line of medical language...
Ben & Jerry’s Opens Women’s Health Clinic, Offers “Free Cone Biopsy Day”
SOUTH BURLINGTON, VT—The line outside the new Ben & Jerry’s Women’s Health Clinic extended for at least 3 miles as people waited for the...