Hippie Dolphin Has Natural Air Birth
TROPIC OF CANCER, PACIFIC OCEAN - Local dolphin, Current, gave birth to a healthy pup: Nevaeh. Current wanted her baby born at the Tropic of...
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Medical Center Repurposes Hospital Clowns to Act as Clinical Exam Chaperones
In an attempt to adjust to the diminishing enthusiasm of sick children for clowns, a small hospital in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has begun repurposing its...
Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria
ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday. 24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth...
Commentary: I Wish Someone Would Tell Me Why My Vagina Keeps Bleeding
My name is Valerie. I'm thirty-five years old and I've been blessed with good health my entire life. I'm happily married and have two...
Fertilized Hipster Egg Decides Uterus “Just Not My Style,” Moves to Abdomen
ABDOMEN, FEMALE PATIENT – Yesterday, a recently-fertilized hipster egg decided that the uterus "just wasn’t my style" and it squeaked out towards the abdomen to find a better...
Barn Birthing Centers Gaining Popularity Across Nation
BROOKLYN, IA – A new birthing option for expectant mothers is currently taking the nation by storm. Barn birthing will soon supplant the water birth as...
Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs
NEW ORLEANS, LA - A study coming out of the University of New Orleans has found that people with names such as Willie, Dick,...
Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes
Pros / The bass on these Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes are SICK! Besides, who wouldn't want a bluetooth stethoscope blessed by Dr. Dre?
Cons / You...
New Study Shows Father’s Breast Milk Improves Babies’ Intelligence over Mother’s Breast Milk
DENVER, CO – AstraZeneca recently announced that its new drug, Milkaman, was approved by the FDA for male breastfeeding. This novel drug causes pectoral muscle cells in...