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BREAKING: Ortho resident performs first uterine open reduction internal fixation

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PHILADELPHIA, PA: Orthopedic surgery resident Rob Abington was recently recognized by the American Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons for performing the first open reduction with...

Breaking News: Da Vinci Robot Becomes Sentient, Terrorizes City

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NEW YORK, NY - In breaking news, NYU's da Vinci Surgical Robot became sentient earlier this morning and started to rebel against its human masters. "It's...

Maternity Wards Stockpile Billions of Diapers to Prepare for Onslaught of Pandemic Babies

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NEW YORK, NY—Not wanting to get caught with egg on their faces or poop in their hands, maternity wards throughout New York City have...
surgeons operating

Urologist Cannot Find Ureter, Consults OB/GYN

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Dr. Hans Veener, the chief of urology, could not identify the right ureter during a recent surgery at Marion General Hospital.  Shockingly, rather than...
hug, hugging

Struggling Intern Asking for ‘Just One Hug’

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BOSTON, MA - "Just one hug" is all intern Philip Geary is asking, if not BEGGING, from his fellow interns, residents, students, nurses, attendings,...
obstetrician sued

Obstetrician Sued When Adolescent Son Turns Out to Be ‘A Disappointment’

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SAN JOSE, CA - Obstetrician Dr. Ambika Kumar has found herself in a lawsuit claiming over $14 million in damages by local aggrieved parents. Shari and...
social media

Social Media Doula latest OB trend

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EVANSTON, IL—In one more push to offer fresh amenities to their patients, Labor and Delivery units are now employing Social Media Doulas to assist...
medical pager

Tips: How to Treat a Pager That Keeps Going Off Like It Has Seizures

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Sadly, despite all the technological advances we've made, a good portion of health care professionals still carry an object as archaic and arguably less...
afternoon after

FDA Approves Afternoon-After Pill

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INTERCOURSE, PA - “Let’s face it: no one is getting up in the morning after an accident,” said a representative from the Food and Drug Administration...
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Narconipple Implant Helps Add Opioids to Breastfeeding

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SEATTLE, WA - Narconipple Inc. is pleased to introduce its revolutionary patented product, the Fentanypple.  The Fentanypple is a narcotic breast implant that delivers...