Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and all you want to do is go home but where...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known for years that these malignancies were locally aggressive,” says lead...
TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with Hartsfield-Jackson International (ATL) airport this coming weekend, in an effort...
Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction
LONG ISLAND, NY - Recent trends in the business of medicine have focused on the patient as the center of care. Accordingly, patient satisfaction scores have become the most valued metric to many hospital administrators,...
Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies
ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency." They are coming off of their latest controversy where a flight attendant wouldn't believe a female African-American...
Everyone, We Mean EVERYONE, Bored at Tumor Board
BALTIMORE, MD - With each additional minute that Dr. Parathyrus struggled to log into PACS, the feeling of lethargy in the room became more and more palpable.
“Gosh darn it, I think I’m going to...
Blood Bank to Require More Paperwork, First-Born Child to Release Blood Products
GREENSBORO, NC - In an effort to cut down on costly blood product utilization, hospital administrators at Rocky High Hospital have put pressure on their blood bank to “regulate their blood products more efficiently.”...
CDC Guidelines Using Pathologists as Model for ‘Extreme Social Distancing’
ATLANTA, GA - With point of care testing for SARS-CoV-2 drastically lagging behind patient demand, experts at the CDC are urging the public to help practice social distancing to help flatten the epidemiologic curve. In...
Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight
SAN DIEGO, CA - In a rare, unexpected occurrence, the pathology duty pager went off at 11 p.m. last night, disturbing the quiet slumber of a third-year pathology resident. "I had no idea what was...
Nurses Have Stethoscopes: What Do You Think?
The philosophical TV show, The View, recently discussed the recent Miss America pageant. Two of the hosts were very critical of Miss Colorado with comments such as: Why is she wearing a "nurse's uniform?"...