Thursday, April 18, 2024

Primary Care

nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

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BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton bombshell that nystatin isn't a real statin after all.  That's...

Telemedicine Doctor Probably Wearing Shorts, Possibly Only Boxers

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BOCA RATON, FL -- Patients have long wondered what telemedicine provider Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram is wearing on the bottom half of his body during remote patient encounters via webcam, and an extensive Gomerblog investigative series...

NBC Changes Policy, Allows Women to be Portrayed as Mothers or Doctors

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NEW YORK, NY – In yet another in a long line of knee-jerk reactions to public relations nightmares, NBC President Jeff Zucker announced that NBC has reversed their long-standing policy against acknowledging that woman...

New AHA Hypertension Practice Guidelines: A Resident’s Personal Struggle on Night Float

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The American Heart Association 2017 Hypertension Practice Guidelines has just recently come out with new guidelines, changing the standard definition of hypertension from 140/90 to 130/80. Per a recent news article, nearly 100 million...
sitbit

Medical Device Company to Debut Sitbit

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Medical device company Pulsa Tech is unveiling the new Sitbit this week.  Similar to its popular predecessor the Fitbit and Sh*tbit, Sitbit is a stylish, smart wristband meant to be worn...

Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal

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HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple surrounding ambulance companies was declared during the dinner-time rush earlier...
Appointment shot clock

Clinic Installs Shot Clock Buzzer To Mark End Of Appointment Slot

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BOCA RATON, FL - In a groundbreaking move which could foster improved patient flow across the country, Madre De Díos Clinic spokeswoman Chlöe Less announced that a shot clock buzzer was installed each patient...
podiatrist tickle

Podiatrists Admit They’re Not Really Examining Patients, Just Tickling Them

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TOEJAM LAKE, CA - At the 23rd annual National Podiatric Conference on Bunions, the board of directors voted 5-4 to admit what the public has suspected for years; there are no podiatric physical exams,...
Quaker State Canola Oil

Product Review: Quaker State Ultimate Durability Full Synthetic Canola Oil

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Pros / Quaker State's new product provides excellent protection against the formation of sludge, plaque, and other harmful deposits, improving viscosity in all weather conditions. Cons / Similar packaging makes for easy confusion with motor oil. The One...
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than 130 mmHg systolic or 80 mmHg diastolic.  However, a repeat...