Renegade Clan of Nap Specialists Declare Independence from Sleep Medicine
DARIEN, IL - In a startling development, a renegade clan of nap specialists known as “The Nappers” have seceded from the American Association of Sleep Medicine (AASM) and declared their professional independence.
“It’s a mistake...
American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis
The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain. A brief summary follows:
Gomeritis is a complex clinical entity and should...
Worst Pick-Up Lines by Medical Subspecialty
GomerBlog did some research on a hot and steamy topic: What are the worst pick-up lines by subspecialty? Here goes!
Allergy
“I like it when you can’t breathe.”
Anesthesiology
“I’d love to rescue your airway.”
Bariatric Surgery
“Come on, I...
Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean
Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...
Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her at this very moment that today is actually Thursday not...
Medical Team Sues Difficult Patient for Pain & Suffering
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Sometimes enough is enough. A multidisciplinary inpatient medical team at Birmingham Medical Center (BMC) is taking difficult patient and frequent flyer Jason Johnson to court, suing him for pain & suffering.
“I can’t...
Move Over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here!
Given the overarching success of the Pain Score leading to the opioid crisis, The Joint Commission (for Healthcare Absurdity) has now added the sixth vital sign in the form of the Crazy Score. It...
Avoiding Sexual Harassment Charges on the Job
With the arrest of a prominent emergency medicine physician in Manhattan for the alleged sexual abuse of patients in his care, it’s more important than ever to be mindful of professional standards in this...
CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving
ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding family and other loved ones that "friends don't let friends drive...
Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter
SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving. 87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one doozy of a patient. Lynch has earned the nickname “Beast...