If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General
NEW YORK, NY - In a move which further establishes his anti-vaccine stance, Donald Trump announced yesterday that, if elected, he plans to appoint fellow famous anti-vaxxer Jenny McCarthy to the position of Surgeon...
Pharma on the Search for Second Generation Placebo
After decades of clinical drug trials involving placebos,Placebo pills now have too many side effects. We need a second generation placebo pill the pharmaceutical community is wondering if it is the right time to...
Whole Foods to Offer Free Gluten Sensitivity Tests in Aisles
HARTFORD, CT - In an attempt to further push gluten-free foods into the public eye, Whole Foods has added point of care celiac sprue testing adjacent to the gluten free aisle. This low-sensitivity test...
Brilliant Diagnosis Made by Naturopath; Cure Coming Any Day Now
SEATTLE, WA - Local woman Barbara Hootro was finally diagnosed by acclaimed Naturopath “Dr. Bob,” accomplishing what 6 different doctors before him could not achieve.
“I was tired after being told over and over that...
USPSTF Recommends Against Getting Kicked in the Balls Repeatedly
BOSTON, MA - In an update of their 2006 recommendation statement, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) now recommends against getting kicked, smacked, slapped, whacked, or punched in the balls repeatedly, regardless of...
Trump Proposes ‘Depo Drones’ as Means to Curb Welfare Expenditures
NEW YORK, NY - Presidential-hopeful Donald Trump continues to make noise as the GOP front runner, as he yesterday announced a novel, if not downright frightening, plan to cut the nation’s spending on entitlements.
If...
How to Become Gluten Intolerant
Ever wonder how you can become gluten intolerant even if you don't actually have gluten intolerance or celiac disease? We have found a video that describes how you can become gluten intolerant with some...
Coca-Cola Lashes Out, Reveals What Happens 1 Hour After Drinking Pepsi
ATLANTA, GA - After a recent infographic caused a stir by revealing what happens to the human body within the first hour of drinking Coca-Cola (also known as Coke), Coca-Cola was left no choice...
Nutritionist Confronts Arch Nemesis, The Malnutritionist
ATLANTA, GA - Things are tense this morning at Tostitos Medical Center (TMC) as clinical nutritionist and protagonist Alice Dash just ran into her evil and noncompliant arch nemesis, Amy Glutton, also known as...
Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware
"And just like that, the world burned." Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was reviewing what appeared to be a large stack of useless...