Respiratory System Secedes, Declares Independence from Human Body
THE HUMAN BODY - In a stunning development that will inevitably alter the balance of power within us all, the respiratory system has successfully drafted and adopted an ordinance of secession, thereby becoming the...
Musical Endotracheal Tubes Brighten Up ICU
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Intensive care units (ICU) are notoriously grim environments, filled with scenes of grief and worry. But thanks to a new line of musical endotracheal tubes produced by Party-Goof novelties, the...
Emergency Department to Stock Emergency Cyanide Kits for Staff Use
ROANOKE, VA - Hospital administration at Our Lady of the Chronic Abdominal Migraines Hospital in Roanoke has agreed to staff requests for emergency cyanide kits to be stocked in the Emergency Department Pyxis machine.
Each kit contains...
New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath
ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per deep breath - that's right: cold, hard, cash...
A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Use Incentive Spirometers (or Marijuana)
Is this your first time using an incentive spirometer (or marijuana)? Well, you're in luck: our Gomerblog team has created this easy 15-step process to using your incentive spirometer (or weed). Don't be intimidated,...
Girlfriend Loses It Over Watching Medical TV Show With RT Boyfriend
Susie Thompson lost her shit late Tuesday night after watching an episode of the CBS medical drama “Code Black” with her boyfriend. Steve Hughes, a Respiratory Therapist at Little Sisters of Charity was heard...
Respiratory Therapist Tom Brady Fired for Underinflating ET Tubes
BOSTON, MA – Tom Brady, a veteran respiratory therapist at Foxboro Hospital, was fired yesterday as he was caught by an eyewitness underinflating endotracheal (ET) tubes of ICU patients.
"After speaking with our eyewitness and conducting...
Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today
HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it is being incredibly productive today.
"Man, you're not going to believe...
Rectal Tone of Anesthesiologists Varies with Patients’ Oxygen Saturation
BERLIN, GERMANY - A new and controversial study out of the esteemed Higginstein Community Surgery Center describes a curious phenomenon regarding rectal tone of anesthesiologists in response to the oxygen saturations of their patients.
Noted researcher...
