Saturday, August 15, 2020

News-in-Brief

Short Articles for Your Short Attention Span

coffee art over under penetrated

Radiologist: “This Coffee Art is Under Penetrated”

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Radiologist Calvin Sherpa smiled as the morning cup of joe warmed his hands this crisp autumn morning.  But that shortly faded just as he was about to take a first...
Hamlet gross anatomy

Hamlet Prepares for Head & Neck Exam in Gross Anatomy Later This Week

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ELSINORE, DENMARK - Totally freaking out over his upcoming exam on the Head & Neck this week in Gross Anatomy, Hamlet has opted to "suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" and begin...
CDC The Cure Friday I'm in Love

CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”

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ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that "it's Friday, I'm in love!" "I don't care if Monday's blue,...
respiratory system secedes capacity

Respiratory System Secedes, Declares Independence from Human Body

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THE HUMAN BODY - In a stunning development that will inevitably alter the balance of power within us all, the respiratory system has successfully drafted and adopted an ordinance of secession, thereby becoming the...
bald eagle Rogaine

Bald Eagle Frustrated That Rogaine Didn’t Do Jack Sh*t

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ANCHORAGE, AK - In a rare instance of frustration, a fuming bald eagle agitatedly paced up and down the branch of a Sitka spruce as he confided to Gomerblog how he still can't believe...
Gerbil bowel prep tsunami

Gerbil in Colon Nervously Awaits Bowel Prep Tsunami

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SOME DUDE'S COLON - Gerald the Gerbil just received the bad news that his whereabouts have been discovered, and now he nervously awaits the imminent rush of polyethylene glycol as a bowel prep tsunami...
coffee cup hand rail abandoned

Irresponsible Intern Abandons Perfectly Good Cup of Coffee on Hand Rail

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BOSTON, MA - In news that can only be described as shocking and deeply disturbing, an irresponsible intern at Boston Medical Center has abandoned a perfectly good cup of coffee on a hand rail...

Meet Dr. Babinski, or Dr. Tickles

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SOMEWHERE IN NEW JERSEY - Don Babinski changed the medical world.  One of the biggest proponents of tickling patients, Dr. Babinski published over 35 articles showing the benefits of tickling. Most physicians have laughed off...
Maria Sharapova shriek

Sharapova Returns with Shriek So Strong Her Own Ear Bleeds

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FLUSHING, NY - In the fourth game of the third set, Sharapova unleashed a powerful forehand winner with a shriek so piercing it caused otic hemorrhage for everyone in attendance at Arthur Ashe Stadium....
patient slips through the cracks

Breaking: Another Patient Slips Through the Cracks

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NASHVILLE, TN - In a broken health care system, it's a sight we see too often and unfortunately it's happened once again this morning: another patient has slipped through the cracks, this time a...
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