Monday, May 13, 2024

Ophthalmology

Opthalmology medical satire articles

eye exam

Physical Exam Tips: The Eye

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Contrary to popular opinion, the eye exam can be performed by other health care providers too, not just ophthalmologists.  Also contrary to popular opinion, “ophthalmology” is spelled with two H’s, not one or three....

So Much for Denuclearization: Korean Leaders Pledge “Enucleation,” Ophtho Consulted

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KOREAN PENINSULA - Though the goal for both North Korean leader Kim Jung Un and South Korean leader Moon Jae-in was for peace and a nuclear-free Korean Peninsula, careful reading of the April 27...
eyeball retina

Ophthalmology Resident Quits Due to Ommetaphobia

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MIAMI, FL - Dr. Henry Flickheimer, an ophthalmology resident, has struggled and coped with a certain intense fear for years.  Surprisingly, that fear is the fear of touching or looking at eyeballs, otherwise called ommetaphobia. “It just...
ophthalmology

Ophthalmologists Bracing Themselves for Full Day of Work After Solar Eclipse

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SALEM, OR - Ophthalmologists throughout the country are bracing themselves for what could be an entire day of work immediately after the solar eclipse on August 21. Record numbers of people “seeing spots” after...
preschool

Preschool Teacher & Physician-Mom Have Differing Medical Opinions

Dr. Linda Richman received the dreaded phone call from her 4 year-old daughter’s preschool a mere 15 minutes after the 9 AM drop-off by the au pair.  “Suzie has conjunctivitis, can you please pick...

Mom Still Cleaning Up After Surgeon Son

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NAPLES, FL - A recent phenomenon in an operating room (OR) at Mary Mother Hospital has caught quite the buzz.  Dr. Roger Messi was going about his daily routine performing his third surgery when...
eyeball retina

Ophthalmologist Palpates Retina with Finger As Part of Dilated Eye Exam

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NORCROSS, GA - Area ophthalmologist Rick Cavalier believes in taking full advantage of dilated pupils during his eye exams, which is why he not only uses special magnifying lenses but his own index finger...
ophthalmologist

Ophthalmologist Accidentally Agrees to See Inpatient Consult

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Richard Thompson, a local ophthalmologist, was appalled to discover that he had accidentally agreed to see a patient currently admitted to local Mercy Hospital on Tuesday. "I don’t really know how it happened,” reports Thompson....
blinded by beauty

Patient Permanently Blinded by Beauty, Ophthalmology Confirms

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ATLANTA, GA - In the emergency room (ER), Emory ophthalmologist Sebastian Fovea confirmed the diagnosis and broke the news to his patient Arnav Patel, who knew what was coming: "I'm sorry.  You have been blinded by beauty." Patel...

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

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2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state (click the map to enlarge): What is New England's obsession with...