Orthopedics

Tom Price

Breaking: Tom Price Signs Off, Turfs Department of Health & Human Services to Medicine

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - After dealing with scandal over the use of private jets for multiple government business trips, orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has signed off as Secretary of Health & Human Services, and turfed...
new ortho consult

Appropriate IM Consult Criteria According to IM Versus According to Ortho

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WOONSOCKET, RI - After a decades long proxy battle typically waged through interns and passive aggressive notes, the leaders of the Internal Medicine and Orthopaedic Surgery Departments finally sat down to try to hammer...

Orthopedic Surgeon Accidentally Intubates Patient in OR

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MANSFIELD, OH - In a bizarre reversal of fate, a local orthopaedic surgeon accidentally inserted an endotracheal tube into a patient’s airway while draping out the patient for a hardware removal. Dr. Aricks Lunchbocks was...
hip replacement third arm

Orthopod Replaces Patient’s Hip with a Third Arm

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Feeling that his career was in a rut, orthopod Brock Hammersley decided to spice things up a bit.  Today, instead of replacing an old hip with a new hip, he decided...
Tom Price

Tom Price to Stabilize ACA Marketplaces with Intramedullary Nails

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Secretary of Health & Human Services and former orthopedic surgeon Tom Price has suggested that the best way to stabilize Affordable Care Act (ACA) marketplaces it not with bipartisan-supported legislation but...
Break a leg!

Wishing ‘Break a Leg!’ Increases Risk of Femur Fracture by 85%

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ROSEMONT, IL - The American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons reports that the theatrical superstition of wishing good luck to stage performers in the form of the phrase "Break a leg!" increase the risk of femur fracture by...

Orthopedic Surgeon Floods OR During Shoulder Arthroscopy

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OMAHA, NE - Officials from Hamton Hospital may have to implement new policies after an orthopedic surgeon inadvertently flooded out the operating room during a shoulder arthroscopy. “He kept asking for more irrigation or commenting...
orthopedic surgery kid

Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho

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MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty bucks says this kid's going into Orthopedic Surgery. "I mean, he's what six?"...
bunk bed

Family Admits That Putting Grandma in the Top Bunk was Probably a Bad Idea

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BROOKLYN, NY - After thinking back on the events that had transpired over the past week, the family of 98-year-old Bertha Schwartz, who presented to Maimonides Medical Center with a left femoral neck fracture...
ex fixed ex fix

Breaking News: Orthopod Places Ex Fix on Ex Fix

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SEATTLE, WA - Questioning if the external fixation device (or ex fix) placed on a patient’s leg is stable enough for the job, Harborview Medical Center orthopod Brock Hammersley made history today by becoming the...