General Surgery Intern Contaminates Sterile Field with Tears
SAN DIEGO, CA - In what is believed to be a first-time occurrence, general surgery intern Crabby Boots cried during an open hernia repair...
Resident Wins Extra Shift for Violating Duty Hours
Tampa, FL - Calling the eighty hour work week “non-negotiable”, local Program Director Tom Keen was not pleased to learn that one of his...
Differentiating ACLs from ACLS: A Primer
GLOBO GYM, MA - Like most orthopods, I know a lot about ACLs. Unfortunately, I’m also required to take ACLS biennially. When my schedule...
Orthopedic Surgeon Finds Strange Sound with Stethoscope, Striker Rep Unable to Determine Source of...
PITTSBURGH, PA – Dr. Harry Bonecutter, a prominent orthopedic surgeon at Pittsburgh Health, identified a strange noise emanating from a patient which he could...
Doctor Introduces New ‘Rate My Patient’ App
Tired of mediocre Yelp reviews by non-compliant patients, Dr. Thomson created “Rate my Patient”, an app designed for physicians that gives them a little...
Doctors Unanimously Decide to “Stay in Their Lane” as NRA Tweet Advised
WASHINGTON, DC - Thousands of Doctors who read the National Rifle Association (NRA) tweet to “stay in their lane” suddenly realized that the NRA...
Bones: An Orthopedic Surgeon’s Perspective
By Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. Thomas Partinger
Bones. I like bones. I like big bones. I like small bones. I like bones. I like long bones....
Letter ‘T’ to Take Top Spot on Snellen, ‘E’ Demoted
BOSTON, MA - In shocking news delivered earlier today, the incumbent letter E has been demoted from its top spot on the Snellen eye chart and...
AMA Announces List of the Top 6 Useless Organs
The Human body is a marvelous biologic machine, adapted to sustain homeostasis in a wide variety of environments. A spectacular coalescence of multiple organs...
Black Cloud Begs On-Call Meteorologist for Help
NEW HAVEN, CT - Finding herself underdressed & underprepared for this torrential downpour of admissions and cross-cover calls, third-year medicine resident and self-diagnosed black...