Surgery

open laparoscopy above-the-nipples

Pioneering Surgeon Performs World’s First Open Laparoscopy

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BOSTON, MA - A major breakthrough took place today as a general surgeon at the Massachusetts Generalizable Hospital performed and successfully completed the world's...
patient cocoon

Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled. “Are you sure?”...

Surgeons Remove Penis, Sex Toy Saved

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NEW YORK, NY - Surgeons at University Hospital of Manhattan have performed a remarkable surgery on an unnamed male patient who presented to the Emergency Department...

Op Note Just a Link to YouTube Video

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In what is being dubbed an inevitable merger of modern-day technology with modern-day lethargy, surgical innovator Dr. Theo Knapp’s operative dictation for yesterday’s cholecystectomy...
awareness anesthesia

New Monitor Helps Anesthesiologists and CRNAs Wake Up During Surgery

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PHOENIX, AZ - Maintaining vigilance is vital for an Anesthesiologist or CRNA taking care of patients undergoing surgery.  However, vigilance is greatly tested every...
paper cut level VIII trauma center

Level VIII Trauma Center Can Only Take Care of Paper Cuts Really

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SANDERSVILLE, GA - Sandersville Medical Center, a recently-opened Level VIII Trauma Center located two hours southwest of Atlanta, barely has any resources whatsoever and...
ultrasound

Surgeon Performs In-Utero Tommy John Surgery

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KANSAS CITY – A surgeon in Kansas City reports he has performed the world’s first in-utero Tommy John surgery. A hospital spokesperson states that the...
meatball sub appendix

Teamwork at its Finest: Surgeons Successfully Divide Meatball Sub in Three

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COOKEVILLE, TN - An a dazzling display of what can be achieved in an operating room when everyone brings their A game and is...
picking nose

ENT Cannot Bear to Watch as Man Picking Nose Tempts Fate

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ATLANTA, GA - Sure, otolaryngologist Eric Osawa was trying to enjoy his day off today, but has now found himself at a coffee shop looking...

Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Michael Redmond - a patient so regular to St. Joseph Hospital’s ER that if he doesn’t show up for a couple days,...