Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her at this very moment that today is actually Thursday not...
Headlines from the Week in Medical News
ROCHESTER, NY - After two-year grant-writing process, associate professor of medicine’s submission to JAMA’s “funny cartoon caption contest” fails peer review process.
AKRON, OH - Patient with Kluver-Bucy Syndrome made NPO except for meals.
BOSTON, MA...
New Weight Loss Surgery to Bypass Stomach, Mouth Completely
BALTIMORE, MD – Calling the new procedure a “miracle in bariatric surgery,” physicians at John’s Hopkins University spoke at a press conference last Saturday regarding a newly-developed surgical technique for weight loss that bypasses...
Hospitalist Consults PT to Assess Unsteady Gate
VININGS, GA - Concerned that it is now high risk and a fall is imminent, hospitalist Martin Halvorson has asked if physical therapy (PT) could come to his front yard and assess his unsteady...
As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...
BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right now to start a violent coughing spell right into his...
Surgery Actually Much Easier with Adequate Anesthesia
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA – Local orthopaedic Surgeon, Dr. Padraig Jones, learned today that surgery is actually a lot easier when the patient is adequately anesthetized. “I thought I was just not that good at...
Committee Investigates Surgeon Whose Shoes Are Always Untied
BEND, OR - The credentials review committee at Our Lady of Hope Medical Center has started investigative proceedings against general surgeon Dr. David Wymer. Wymer who has been affiliated with Our Lady of Hope for...
TSA Discovers Testicular Cancer on Local Man
NEWARK, NJ – At the Newark Liberty Airport TSA agent Dennis Brown discovered a lump on a local man’s testicle.
“I was just doing my job, nothing special,” said hero TSA agent Brown. “The guy...
Mother Devastated to Learn Son’s Femur is Broken and Fractured
WILLMAR, MN - Local mother, self-proclaimed Domestic Goddess, PTA President, and Essential Oils saleswoman Hilda Larson was absolutely crushed this past week when she learned that her son's thigh bone was not only broken...
Ortho Throws Vanc at Infected Total Knee, Misses and Breaks Window
YUCAIPA, CA - The Inland Empire of California has long been known as the Wild West of Medicine where board certified surgeons are as rare as moose sightings.
Michelle Spain felt like the bastion of...