Surgery

Song of the Diverticulite (Morphine on High at 3am)

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All the bickering of which is best The song, the canvass, the word, the marbled stone, The rest Pittance such luxury Lacking any test Pittance yes! Void of existential quest Ver-Sed,...

Spouse of Surgical Resident Charged with Polygamy

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YONKERS, NY - 27-year-old Emily Follingsworth was charged with polygamy yesterday in Yonkers, NY, days after her second wedding.  Follingsworth, a spouse of a fifth-year neurosurgical...

Soap Opera Doctor Still Awaiting Credentialing 5 Years and Counting

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HOLLYWOOD, CA – Dr. Mario Love, a well-known Days of Our Lives general surgeon, is still not credentialed at his local hospital after being on the...

Committee Investigates Surgeon Whose Shoes Are Always Untied

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BEND, OR - The credentials review committee at Our Lady of Hope Medical Center has started investigative proceedings against general surgeon Dr. David Wymer.  Wymer...
applauding doctors

Ortho Writes Perfect SOAP Note, First No-Worder This Year

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Cliff Kershaw of UCLA Medical Center etched his way into the record books early this morning as he wrote the...
intern, urine

Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Unable to speak up and hold his bladder any longer on morning rounds, surgical intern Chris McElroy decided to pee all over...

Orthopedic Surgeon Accidentally Intubates Patient in OR

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MANSFIELD, OH - In a bizarre reversal of fate, a local orthopaedic surgeon accidentally inserted an endotracheal tube into a patient’s airway while draping...

Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - At a hastily-gathered press conference here today, President Obama announced that effective immediately, Surgeon General Rear Admiral (RADM) Boris D. Lushniak,...
anesthesiologist billing trachea esophagus

Jealous of Surgeons’ Da Vinci, Anesthesia Demands Robot of Their Own

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KEARNEY, NE - Growing increasingly dissatisfied with the benefits of a automaton and robotics enjoyed by their colleagues on the other side of the...

Hospital Bans Seeing-Eye Dog from OR, ADA Suit Follows

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FORT WAYNE, IL - Memorial Hospital has barred Dr. Alan Peterson from bringing his seeing-eye dog, Karmen, into the operating room (OR) where he has...