Sunday, June 16, 2024

Surgery

medical white coat

Resident’s White Coat Shortened in New Public Shaming Tactic

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HOUSTON, TX - In an imaginative new tactic to publicly shame his residents, orthopedic surgeon Dr. Scott Winslow has started reducing the length of his resident’s white coats for each mistake made. "It all started after a...
aorta

Skilled Phlebotomist Draws Blood from Aorta

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NASHVILLE, TN - Warned ahead of time that the patient was a notoriously difficult stick, madly-skilled phlebotomist Mattie Stevenson pulled off a neat little trick and successfully drew blood from the patient's...
nursemaids marching

Nation’s Nursemaids March to Clear Name

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Nursemaids from around the nation convened on the National Mall Tuesday to rally against what they called, “years of injustice and unfair social stigma perpetuated by the American healthcare system.” At...

Hospital for Special Surgery Admits to not Being “That Special”

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New York, NY- In an official announcement of something that has been known in ortho circles for quite some time, the Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC announced today that the hospital...

Surgeon Passes Out Following OR Fentanyl Exposure, Remainder of OR Staff Unaffected

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BOSTON, MA – 94 minutes into what was a routine total knee arthroplasty, Dr. James Nairbear suddenly felt lightheaded and fell backwards landing in the arms of OR Nurse D’nica Gurley. ...

NSFW: Uncensored Celeb Pics Never Seen Before

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1. Kim Kardashian - What is left when the internet has seen every inch of her? How about her placenta? Technically not part of her anymore but still S-E-X-Y.  Damn, look at that heart...
Crayola, codes

Crayola Releases New Colors of Emergency Codes

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EASTON, PA - In an effort to overhaul and better standardize emergency codes and make “Everything Imaginable” for health care providers, Crayola has announced the release of a new 64 ct. Hospital Code System,...

Da Vinci on Pace to Win Gold in the All-Around

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Da Vinci Robot came to the Olympic games with high hopes. Bob Costas has called him "the single greatest gymnast he has ever seen."  da Vinci is well respected...
money jar

Operating Room Swear Jars Set to Pay Down National Debt by 2018

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WASHINGTON, DC – The American College of Surgeons was pleased to announce today that their “Operating Room Swear Jar Initiative” will soon generate enough revenue to pay off the U.S. national debt of 19...
femur stethoscope

Orthopod Caught Listening to Femur with Stethoscope

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ATLANTA, GA - In an awkward moment at a patient's bedside earlier today, orthopedic surgeon Thor Hammersley was caught doing what can only be described as a head-scratcher: auscultating his patient's surgically-repaired femur with a stethoscope. "I...