ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode
PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
Breaking: Ummm Yeah, Fifty Bucks Says This Kid’s Going into Ortho
MIAMI, FL - Without waiting to see how his prepubescent, teenage, or even college years pan out, Gomerblog is already going to call it: fifty...
Entire Hospital IT Department Being Placed into Protective Custody After ‘Upgrading’ EMR
LOS ANGELES, CA - Yesterday evening, Have Mercy On Me Hospital in Los Angeles upgraded their electronic medical record (EMR) and what ensued can...
Scented Packing Gauze Makes Abscesses Fresh and Fun
PROVIDENCE, RI - The field of wound care is taking note of a new line of whimsically-scented wound packing products pioneered by Quintac Hospital. ...
On-Call Ophthalmologist Heroically Manages Eye Emergency from Bed
DES MOINES, IA - Answering his phone in a daze at 2 AM last night, on-call ophthalmologist Reece Barnett reportedly handled a vision threatening...
Anesthesiologist and Surgeon Can’t Agree on Patient’s Care by Midnight Deadline, Hospital Shutdown Ensues
ROANOKE, VA – Dr. Foster was experiencing some bleeding during his right hemicolectomy. He asked, “What is the patient’s blood pressure?” Dr. Heathstrom looked up from...
Pediatrician About to Call Surgery to Lay Hands on Another Punky-Looking Kiddo
2AM, KNOXVILLE, TN - According to seventh floor pediatrics ward sources, local pediatrician and hospitalist Dr. Jerry Dirkins is about to call for another...
Nation’s Nursemaids March to Clear Name
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Nursemaids from around the nation convened on the National Mall Tuesday to rally against what they called, “years of injustice and...
AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’
NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
Winnie Can’t Pooh, Needs Surgical Intervention
SUSSEX, ENGLAND - In breaking news, Winnie the Pooh can't pooh and is in fact obstructed, necessitating surgical intervention. "Oh, D-D-Dear!" cried Piglet. "I...