Miracle on the Hudson: NYC Nurse Lands Foley in 600-Pound Female Patient
HUDSON VALLEY, NY - A miracle occurred on Saturday as Cathy Meyers, night shift RN at Hudson Valley Hospital, found herself staring at the wavering end of a fully-inflated Foley catheter. The catheter once...
Letter ‘T’ to Take Top Spot on Snellen, ‘E’ Demoted
BOSTON, MA - In shocking news delivered earlier today, the incumbent letter E has been demoted from its top spot on the Snellen eye chart and the letter T has been promoted to the highly-sought leading role.
"We...
Yiddish to Be Introduced Into Official Medical Terminology
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The Language Council of Hospitals and Institutions of Medicine (LCHAIM) announced yesterday that a number of commonly used Yiddish terms have been approved as acceptable medical terminology. This practice, already commonplace...
Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health care consumer (AAHC) believes both death and disability are curable...
Orthopaedic Surgeon Admits to Inventing CrossFit to Finance College for His Children
LOS ANGELES, CA – After his twin daughters were both accepted to Ivy League colleges starting in 2000 and already paying for his son’s med school tuition and gym membership, local orthopaedic surgeon Brock...
Mother Devastated to Learn Son’s Femur is Broken and Fractured
WILLMAR, MN - Local mother, self-proclaimed Domestic Goddess, PTA President, and Essential Oils saleswoman Hilda Larson was absolutely crushed this past week when she learned that her son's thigh bone was not only broken...
Jealous of Surgeons’ Da Vinci, Anesthesia Demands Robot of Their Own
KEARNEY, NE - Growing increasingly dissatisfied with the benefits of a automaton and robotics enjoyed by their colleagues on the other side of the drape, local anesthesiologists at Kind Samaritan Hospital are demanding that...
Too Much Pressure: Masseuse Breaks All 206 Bones in Client’s Body
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - Despite the request to use only light-to-medium pressure during a one hour deep tissue massage, masseuse Lindsey Wang has gone overboard and accidentally broken all 206 bones in her client Gabby...
Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results
BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results. "This is truly remarkable," said medical expert Dr. Tom Hutch....
